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thoughtfulWatermelon8834
285 M Embraced 2
PathStep 12 Compassion hearts38 Forum posts10 Forum upvotes17 Current upvotes17 Age GroupAdult Last activeJune, 2023 Member sinceMay 21, 2023
Bio

She/they/bruh/bro

Autism

Anxiety -> depression and repeat

Artsy

Queer

Struggling

Recent forum posts
Motivation for summer
General Support / by thoughtfulWatermelon8834
Last post
 June 8th, 2023
...See more So my issues are the following - I got yelled at for not cleaning up after myself, it always a while ago but it hurts since it was because of my deteriorating mental health and that the parent yelling at me doesn't understand my issues. I don't like talking to them because, the second they advised me to go to christ instead of therapy I felt like I could never open up to them. They complain Abt their stress but all I want them to do is shut up and get out of my space. I don't even wanna call them family most of the time. -summer break is coming soon and I don't want to be yelled at again, since I'm not gonna have an excuse to waste away in bed all day. I don't know what to do with my time that won't be an absolute chore. All I want to do is play videogames, talk to *** friends, scribble nonsense in a journal, sleep and scroll endlessly through social media, and the latter two are my only reliable options. - I could look for scholarships, but what's the point? I don't even know if I want to go to college, let alone my major. I don't want to work anymore. I'm so tired. The world is getting worse every day, it seems - my hobbies feel like chores too. I don't want to create, it's too taxing. Soul searching is too hard. New music is too difficult to find. Fashion is meh at this point. Maybe emo kids can at least relate to my suffering? - my first taste of therapy ended miserably, my family couldn't afford it and now the person of the first bullet point can't trust experts. I went to a ward, but i just ended up right where I started, so why tell anyone if I'm in a crisis? I'm just going to cost my family more money. I don't want to risk it. I was diagnosed with autism, if it helps. I think the first bullet point person has left me alone, and their temper tantrums have decreased with age, but most of my post still stands. I get occasional episodes of energy in this depression for a few hours and maybe a day tops, and that's when I can actually do stuff, then right back to the misery. I think I'll look into depression and how it impacts autism. I also have a task app, so if you can give me a "challenge" for my mental health that would be nice. Thanks
Everything journals?
Hobby Zone / by thoughtfulWatermelon8834
Last post
 May 24th, 2023
...See more I'm not sure where I found this on Pinterest, but there was a pin that recommended I have an "everything journal", where I put my thoughts, song lyrics, doodles and whatnot to the pages. Personally, I'm having trouble actually adding anything, mainly from trying to dedicate one page a single thing, for organizing purposes. Any thoughts or advice? Maybe I can add doodles of my hyperfixations? I have no idea. Please help!
Like groundhogs day or something
General Support / by thoughtfulWatermelon8834
Last post
 May 21st, 2023
...See more This is gonna be my first thread on this place aha. I think I'm goinng through the exact same day I had a few years ago, before I got anxiety meds. I mean, I don't get those jitters or tense muscles, but the panic is absolutely there. My main issue is that I've forgotten how I got better in the first place. Like one day I just felt...good? I have no idea what it was. Meditation? Video games? Plushies? Drawing? Listening to music? Mysticism? Maybe it was all of them in conjunction, but it's starting to eat away at me again. It sucks. I'm not sure what else to say. Maybe my autism is relevant or something. I'm glad I said it though. And the support everyone gives looks wonderful.
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