Life really kicking me
My bf dosnet work and hadn't for a year. My youngest child of 3 Is going to be 1 in January. My elsedeet is going to be 4 in February and my middle child 3 in May.
These are his children.
We have no money and are not even pay check to paycheck. I'm baby bonus to baby bonus paying rent with it aks the rest is bills and food. App he needs is a part time job. But here we are..
Anyways yesterday he said he was going to go and get sole money form his mom so I cjs do.laundy. I'd typically go there to do it but we hagebno Gas and this man had chosen to do to much thos weekend without any gas. (He plans to go put mon-wed but we again have no gas or money so..plus we live on the other side of town)
He later tells me he not asking his mom for money. Cool. Youngest needs milk but k. Ao I scavenge for milk. I go to the store to grt thr milk. Turns out I was 30cents short. She still gave me the milk. Bless her heart honeslty highlight of my day.
I leave the store walk to the road. I'm paying attention to the lights. It's my turn to walk. Ik walking and I got his by a car. Dude was drinking you could tell by hos demeanor and smelled of weed. I screamed. I'm hurt I wobble home.
My neighbour who saw it wll was asking me if.im okay and actually caring about me and my well being. Hold on to this it's important.
I grt in the door hug my child and tell my bf I was hit by a car. He hasn't moved form his Xbox. He tells me how didnyou manage thar.. like it was my ultimate fault not the guy driving. Like he showed no.csre ajs instead was Mad at me.
I'm broke sore and beaten down
@ShadowMyCat First and foremost, I am so glad you are ok and safe. I can't imagine how scary it must have been to get hit by a car. I am glad you had a very sweet neighbor nearby to show you some compassion and care. That, on top of all of life's stressors--- well, my hat goes off to you! You seem like a remarkable, selfless, and loving parent and I am so happy your kids have someone like you. Being a parent is one of the hardest jobs. There is no handbook on how to be the perfect parent or how to raise another life. In your case, you and your boyfriend are responsible for 3. As parents, it is our job to ensure the safety and wellbeing of our children. And sometimes, we have to compromise and sacrifice in order to put them first. Everyone has different life events and situations, and I am sorry you are currently going through a tough time. I hope you know that these current struggles will not always be. I hope things get better for you and your children. Please don't take no offense to this, but I hope your boyfriend is able to open his eyes and see where there is a lack. Parents should provide for the family and household. I know you mentioned he has no job, but I hope he sees that if he was actively seeking employment that it would cut down on a lot of the stressors you are enduring. Bless that lady's heart at the store to still let you get the milk for your baby! What a blessing that was. No baby should go without. Whether your boyfriend gets on the same page or not, please never stop advocating for your kids and making sure they are cared for and love. I have been there before having to scavenge change and coins to be able to eat or dry clothes. It's not an easy place to be but these tough times won't always last. Is there any assistance in your area that you may be able to qualify for. I know sometimes people do not like receiving help from the government, but maybe that could be an option just until the money situation changes? Maybe you can get food assistance to help out for you and the kids. And since sometimes gas money is hard to come by, maybe you can see if there are any agencies that help people out by giving out bus passes. I just wanted to put these suggestions out there for you to help ease some of that burden on you. You are doing and being the best parent for your kids with the cards you are dealt. Please be kind to yourself and stay safe. Your kids need you! Hoping things get better for you. <3 Xoxo.
Thank you..a million thanks..
Ita so hard being this stressed out all the time ans being told I'm the issue or I need to apply to the jobs for him...or fins the jobs while mantianing the house caring for children and being pulled a million different ways. 🙃 I really am struggling but reading your kinds words have lit a very like candle 🕯 for me ..thank you..I feel like I am forever pulling out of an empty cup to fill my children's and bf. I wish he start working soon..it's now down to not eating ans hand washing clothing since we have nothing. My baby bonus is going to rent ans bills and a small amount of food for my children..he eats he's fine but I'm just like how can you eat thar fir them...
I'm thankful that I'm not alone thst this happens.. I didn't want to be like my parents but I feel like I'm doing worse and drowning so bad..
I'm tired of hearing how he wants fast food ans pizza and junk food. He just ate all the Halloween candy and such. Like stop.
The dude I was dating 7 years ago isn't this man. He cared ans wouldn't eve let us struggle like this.
I feel like he's gotten used ti being waited on ans is now expecting me to do the same still..
I give everything ti my children I raise them and I'm so tired..all the time...
@ShadowMyCat You are so very welcome. I empathize with your situation. ♡ One thing I read that am I hope did not read right was-- well, does your boyfriend really expect you to be the apply to apply for jobs for him? If he is able bodied and sane, that should be on him. With him, you, and 3 kids, he should want to step up and provide. I believe you are right in thinking he has gotten used to being waited on. But we have 3 very young kids in the picture who did not ask to be here and it's their parents' jobs to put them first! They are 100% dependent on you both and yet he's acting dependent on you. You need a helping hand. You're strong but you are only one person. This is a lot to deal with but I do have faith in you. You are such a selfless person. Please always do what is in the best interests of your kids and you!! ♡
Thank you 😊
I'm so tired of being told I'm lazy or I do not do enough..I feel like I'm holding uo mountains to make things work
Thank you for talking to me I feels like I got no one
@ShadowMyCat I'm sorry, but just know you are doing the absolute best you can for your children. That's what matters. Parents move all the mountains and go to the ends of the earth for their children. Hang in there, mama. And please keep in mind that while you have the forums, if you ever need support or someone to talk to, don't hesitate to put a request in the queue to connect with a listener. <3
First I'm glad your ok. Are you able to apply for assistance? This is a tough situation to be in. Would his mother watch the kids for a few days? He needs to get a job! His mom know about this? I wish you the best!
I'm okay just shaken up. Of course right after I went to get the milk I end up sick with some type of throat and ear issue going on. I've lost my voice I can't do much n when I gave to get loud it hurts.
He magically hurt his back 2 days ago. And is unable to do anything like go to the grocery store alone. I'm sick no one cares I'm barely sleeping jecuaee he's waking up wwnting sex because it means "so muhc" to him ..
I'm uo with thr kids he sleep in. He says he's going to apply to job when he just grt mad and angry ans thrn gore to play km his Xbox. I'm done.
He went for a job today like an interview ans we all had to go. He sat us in thr truck for an HOUR. 3 kids and I'm sick. Thanks for that.
Might I add it's commission based? Barely a viable wage but if he's good at it he can magically make 90k. How?...
Says he's totally got it. Get home to do a reference ans background check. Can you guess where he is right now? Sxreamimg at ppl in his game. Cuz it to much there asking for...
He tells me thar I should apply for assistance and them says no when we grt home ...I'm fed up of his being aggressive I'm fed up of hos telling me how to feel..
I cracked ans I started crying to be told to stop my whining his back hurts but he's still going.
DUDe
@ShadowMyCat you have been going through a difficult time and I appreciate your continued efforts and never give up attitude. It's sad that your boyfriend has no work and I am sorry to say that the worse part is the fact that he is not even looking for it - only if someone tries is when they will find it!
It's great to have such experiences where people ask us how we are doing or like the lady who gave milk inspite of less money - a reminder that humanity is still alive!
What is your education level? Not sure if you have thought in this direction, could it be possible that you or your boyfriend start some kind of home tution or teaching any skill you might have. Or even babysitting so that you can have at least some regular income. Often, too much pressure in life makes us give up. But one small step everyday can lead to better long term situation.
I've asked about him going to school but he could care less. He dosent care. He loves daying to me that I need to suck it up...like bro.im tired. I'm so god dam tired of this constant struggle. We've been here 3 years ans he's had multiple job but never one for more than a year he sucks with jib but freaks that he dosnr have a reference