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Just letting things out
darkspacepilot July 31st, 2023

Dealing with this depression and trying to hold my marriage together has been a huge task and a stressor for me. I think I am stuck in a vicious cycle of trying to take care of my mental health and doing things I never should do (always worrying about others around me) and screwing it up.

Anyways, amidst all this, I have fallen into an alcohol disorder. I am finding my short while of peace with alcohol in the evenings. I know this screws up my sleep and self medication is a slippery slope and stuff. My therapist keeps saying this. But I am unable to go away from it. I keep going back to it every night. This in turn causes conflict between me and my wife. And it makes me even more guilty. I go to alcohol once again to get rid of the pain and make myself numb.

I am asking for advice or tools that are available online if anyone had gone through the same struggle of depression and alcohol before. Is there a way out? I am trying my best. But I am not able to do it with just my self-control, as this stupid mind of mine always tricks me somehow. :(

I am grateful that there is such a platform where I can share my feelings where I know I wont be judged. This itself makes me feel a bit lighter in the head, as I finish typing this sentence. Thanks wonderful people. :)

2
Lilishere July 31st, 2023

@darkspacepilot Hi, dear friend. First of all, please remember you're not alone in your struggles, dealing with depression and trying to maintain a marriage can be an overwhelming task and I commend you for reaching out and sharing your feelings on this platform. While self-control can be challenging, know that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. ⚡️ It's okay to lean on others for support.


You already mentioned having a therapist, but if you feel that is not enough, you should consider additional or specialized help such as support groups (like this platform, finding solace in sharing your feelings in this site is an excellent start).

I suggest you talk openly with your partner, if you haven't done that. Communication and understanding can create a strong foundation for overcoming challenges together.

Also, it's important you address the alcohol disorder directly: contacting treatment centers or resources related with this problem available in your area. Even talking to people that have experienced similar struggles can be an immense source of comfort and motivation.

But most importantly, celebrate small victories. Each step you take towards positive change is an amazing feat, no matter how small. Be patient with yourself during this process. Recovery is not linear, and setbacks are normal. The key is to keep moving forward one step at a time! You're capable of overcoming this, and I wish you all the best on your path to recovery. You got this! 😊
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