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darkspacepilot
186 M Embraced 1
PathStep 8 Compassion hearts26 Forum posts5 Forum upvotes8 Current upvotes8 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2023 Member sinceJuly 29, 2023
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Just letting things out
General Support / by darkspacepilot
Last post
 July 31st, 2023
...See more Dealing with this depression and trying to hold my marriage together has been a huge task and a stressor for me. I think I am stuck in a vicious cycle of trying to take care of my mental health and doing things I never should do (always worrying about others around me) and screwing it up. Anyways, amidst all this, I have fallen into an alcohol disorder. I am finding my short while of peace with alcohol in the evenings. I know this screws up my sleep and self medication is a slippery slope and stuff. My therapist keeps saying this. But I am unable to go away from it. I keep going back to it every night. This in turn causes conflict between me and my wife. And it makes me even more guilty. I go to alcohol once again to get rid of the pain and make myself numb. I am asking for advice or tools that are available online if anyone had gone through the same struggle of depression and alcohol before. Is there a way out? I am trying my best. But I am not able to do it with just my self-control, as this stupid mind of mine always tricks me somehow. :( I am grateful that there is such a platform where I can share my feelings where I know I wont be judged. This itself makes me feel a bit lighter in the head, as I finish typing this sentence. Thanks wonderful people. :)
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