Just Because You Talk, Doesn’t Mean You’re OK
Hey everyone!
First off, sorry if this isn’t the right place for this thread. After looking everywhere else, I thought this was the best place for it because no other place fit as well as General Support.
Idk where the idea or interpretation or whatever you wanna call it came from that if you don’t talk, something’s wrong with you or bothering you whereas if you talk, you’re ok 😂😂 This is how people in society see it but that does not mean that it’s accurate and should be as accepted as accurate, justified, etc as it is.
Anytime people are around me, I get asked so many times, by the same and by different people, every second, the same questions like “Hey. How ya doin?” “You ok? Yeah? You sure?” It’s great people care but that’s seriously overdoing it 😂 Like hello! I just answered that question a second ago! 😂
What do you guys think? Any honest thoughts are welcome and respected and appreciated. If you’re not share what to think or have mixed feelings, feel free to say that and if you want to, you can say why.
@akunknown
lmao yes whatever doesn't seem to fit anywhere else has a place in General support...no wonder so many of my posts find a place here too😅
yeah those kinda assumptions can be upsetting because people are all different and act or behave differently too 😮
how do you feel when someone asks you about how you're doing usually?
@Optimisticempath
lmao yes whatever doesn't seem to fit anywhere else has a place in General support...no wonder so many of my posts find a place here too😅
Well I’m still figuring and feeling out everything that’s here. I haven’t even been here 5 months yet. I didn’t wanna break any rules and have any threads or comments I posted removed or be suspended or banned. I’m not here for any of that. So I posted that “First off” part to let everyone know that.
yeah those kinda assumptions can be upsetting because people are all different and act or behave differently too 😮
Yeah. Some people might be ok with it and that’s totally fine if they are. No problem with me. But I’m not bc I just find it a little annoying when it’s overdone.
how do you feel when someone asks you about how you're doing usually?
If I’m having a conversation with someone in person, on the phone via talking or texting, online like on here for example, etc….especially if it’s someone I haven’t spoken with in a long time or if it was a situation where I was in serious trouble (depression, harming myself, etc) and they were checking on me by asking me how I’m doing/feeling or anything like that then I appreciate it.
But if it’s someone who knows I’m not in trouble enough to warrant asking me that so many times or is asking me that repeatedly to be nosy and use me to keep them busy bc they refuse to keep themselves busy by being productive or if they get worried bc they don’t hear from me everyday or any other reason like that then it’s a bit annoying. Only when of course it’s overdone.
Just bc I’m not talking or you haven’t heard from me since yesterday doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with me lol.
On the other hand just bc you hear from someone everyday doesn’t mean they’re ok. It could actually mean they need someone to talk to bc they aren’t ok but just isn’t saying anything about it or they’re putting on fake smiles to pretend they’re ok so no one worries about them.
@akunknown hi undertaker, how are you doing today? How are you feeling?😂😂😂😂😂
I'm just kidding😂😂 but really it can be annoying, and unnecessary all the time. And yeah you don't know what is going through anyone's head, so people shouldn't just assume they know. And it gets to the point where you don't know what to say to those questions after a while.
@Tinywhisper11
Yeah exactly 👍
@Tinywhisper11
Today my toxic and abusive mom just proved that the words making up my thread title are a lot more true than people realize.
Someone messaged me saying “she didn’t communicate the information to me very well honestly” So let me understand this Someone who’s known for literally talking 24/7 can’t communicate as well as she probably should be? The guy’s pretty angry at her and understandably so bc she told him a cleaning lady was gonna clean his downstairs room and bathroom. His anger is from her not discussing it with him before she got the cleaning lady and that it’s also an invasion of privacy, invading someone’s personal space without their permission or consent or approval, and she’s displaying once again how uncaring and disrespectful she is towards him by doing things like this. After telling him I completely agree with his points about it he needs to calm down so he can think clearly about a way to solve the problem. He said he’ll try but no promises bc she’s not making it easy in fact according to him she’s pushing him via her actions to literally snap which ultimately doesn’t benefit anyone
@akunknown 🙁 so what do you think is gonna happen? Is he going to blow up on her? Does she do theese things on purpose do you think, or just doesn't think about how her actions effects others. Either way communication is key. I hope she sees his side and apologises before he gets angry. I'm here for you sweetie ❤
@Tinywhisper11
Good question. Idk what’ll happen tbh. But I don’t envision him blowing up on her. They’ve had a good relationship with each other so I don’t think they’ll ever tell each other anything about each other to their faces like they do behind each other’s backs.
I think she is the way she is on purpose bc she isn’t aware or doesn’t care how her actions affect others. There’s others living here. Not just her but her mindset is “who cares how others are affected as long as I’m enjoying and having fun” and whatever she wants she always gets. She’s toxic, non physically abusive, has mental health problems but doesn’t admit it to herself or anyone else. It’s probably why she’s never been treated or recovered from any of this which is likely why she still has these problems. No she won’t see his side and apologize to him even though she should. People like her aren’t like that unfortunately. And he’s already angry but isn’t showing it to her. But he’s displayed it to me already stating he’s angry about her. Thanks for being here for me ❤️❤️❤️❤️
@akunknown and your the person stuck in the middle of all this😥 your probably trying your best to be supportive, but secretly screaming. It's a tough situation, and there's only so much you can say or do. In the end they both need to either leave each other, or have a serious talk. I'm sorry your stuck in the middle of all this. I'm here if you want to talk or just vent, I'll always listen ❤ gives you a giant tiny hug ❤❤ I'm right for you
@Tinywhisper11
Thank you so much for your support and everything. Means a lot and I’m very appreciative for it.
No I’m not a screamer or for that matter a venter. Most especially when it such as this situation doesn’t have anything to do with me. I just got pulled in.
I told him he should leave if he’s angry and since my mom doesn’t listen to anything being said it’s pointless talking to her bc he won’t get anywhere which will just lead to him being more angry. But he refuses to. Idk why and when I asked he said he doesn’t know either before asking what’s wrong with him which I believe was in a joking way but I could be wrong
@akunknown it's probably best to stay out of it as much as possible. Other than trying to help prevent anger, I don't think there's much you can say or do to help them. Remember your not supposed to be the adult in this situation, they are so let them just carry on. It's probably frustrating for you though😥
❤❤
@akunknown
@LittleEggHarbor
All valid points.
I think sometimes people just need to be reminded but reminders aren’t meant to be made all the time LOL. After enough reminders people should just know.
Yes I thought letting people know about their constant questioning even though they mean well would help them understand how I feel and stop asking me all the time. That’s why I did tell them and more than once too but they haven’t stopped. Instead they got into a pointless argument with me just bc they didn’t agree with me which they could’ve told me without getting overly excited and create an argument.
@akunknown
I want you to know that your feelings are valid and that it’s okay to feel frustrated when others don't understand your boundaries, despite your best efforts to communicate them. It's a difficult situation, and it’s natural to feel disheartened when your well-intentioned words are met with resistance.
Remember that empathy is a two-way street. While you're striving to help others understand your perspective, it's also essential to recognize that people sometimes struggle with change and may react defensively. This isn't a reflection of your worth or the value of your feelings, but rather a sign that they need more time to adjust.
In moments like these, try to focus on the positives. You've shown courage and strength by speaking up for yourself, and that’s something to be proud of. Keep nurturing your own well-being, and find solace in the activities and passions that bring you joy, like drawing, painting, and your love for languages and anime.
There’s hope in the journey. With patience and persistence, people can learn and grow, and so can you. Continue to look for the brighter side, and know that each step you take towards self-improvement and understanding is a victory.
A wise saying to carry with you: “In the midst of every difficulty lies opportunity.” Use these challenges as stepping stones towards a more compassionate and fulfilling life.
With empathy and support,
LittleEggHarbor
@LittleEggHarbor
Again, all valid points in this comment too just like in the previous one :)
Yeah I’m well aware that people need more time to adjust. That’s fine. It’s why I wasn’t angry. Just stressed out about it is all. But with the situation. Not anyone in particular.
Thank you for saying everything you said in all your comments that were directly in reply to what I said. I really appreciate it bc it all means a lot.
As for empathy, I’m a very empathetic person myself.
With empathy and ❤️, I kindly give you hugs :)
Hugs ❤️ : )
@akunknown sometimes i just force myself to say "i m doing okay or good" but i am not feeling good i just say that cuz not many people really understand the problem
@Nishant01
Yeah I totally understand. I used to do that too and for the same reason as you. But I stopped once I realized I wasn’t being my authentic self and just telling lies to everyone. I didn’t wanna do that anymore. Since then I haven’t.
But if you wanna keep doing it, I’ve no problem. I’m not judgmental or anything like that so please just know that with me you can be your authentic self which I believe is worth showing. ❤️❤️
@akunknowni can understand where u r coming from about being authentic but its just whenever i share something to someone they kinda use it against me for some reason
so thats the reason for me i know i m not authetic to myself but i feel if i share larger problems come back at me
@Nishant01
I understand. That’s a good reason for you to do what you’re doing. However I hope one day you’ll be authentic without caring about what happens as a result of being yourself ❤️❤️❤️❤️