I feel apathetic idk what to do
Im on a phase of feeling apathetic and dead again. Idk what causing this feeling. In fact, I have a huge support system- my family, boyfriend, friends and churchmates. They all rooting and believing in me especially my family... they gonna round all over the world and do whatever it takes just to support me in my uni financially, physically and emotionally. I just feel so guilty that I cant make them proud. I feel like I don’t deserve their efforts. It is not that I dont make an effort to get this degree and be successful in life, but I just dont do well. I failed a couple of times in my courses and It’s disappointing that I always do my best but still fail.. so i feel guilty with those people supporting me all in. You may say that this time I should be grateful and get that experience to do better and be motivated but why do I feel the opposite of it except ofc of being grateful because am really grateful for all of my people. Just, I dont feel motivated with it and no matter what I do or think, those experiences of failure just keeping me feel like literally failure. Additionally, I also have something that’s keep bothering me with my current relationship. This issue was an issue before and I feel like giving up already. Nothing is changing for better. Ah, a little maybe... we didnt argue and fight like we had years ago. But our relationship rn feels stagnat, and everytime a situation happen, all memories that we once had argued with, keeps on flashing to my mind and it making me feel like giving up because I feel like its just a cycle. Idk if am just drained of the stress I feel lately thats why I wanna give up on this one even though I really dont want to. But I just couldnt take anymore baggage. Its weird that I should feel heavy but I dont feel anything at all. Its like a complete “im done about all of this” I just wanna stop or just disappear. I dont want to mind that I have family to make them proud of me, I dont have to mind about people. I just wanted to stop. Idk what to do.
@SpringSunshine
Hello there!
I'm so sorry to hear that. It must be really tough and challenging for you to expereince those feelings. But I'm so happy you reached out!
Talking to someone about what you are experiencing can really help! There are many wonderful and compassionate listeners that are ready to support and listen to you. You can browse the listener page here: https://www.7cups.com/BrowseListeners/
Best wishes <3