I don't know where to put this vent - Diaries. and how i'll never have one ever again. (by nate, 13, all pronouns, if i didn't introduce myself)
I don't know why, i don't know how.
A few years ago i was told by my mother that she would never check a single notebook or diary i had to keep my privacy to myself. but as i rebelled and got older, it seemed like she completely forgot about that.
the first diary/notebook/journal she went through was a book she got me herself when i was around 10 or 11, i ended up drawing tons of OCs and writing tons of problems i was going through in it, and that included tons of cussing - my mom doesn't allow extreme cuss words such as the b word, f word, or others.
i eventually finished using that journal and hid it in my drawer and eventually forgot about it. a few months go by and i rediscover it and look through it and i find some unexpected embarrassing notes from my mom, i was *** off. how could she do this to me? i thought she didn't care about this stuff!
recently, a few hours ago, she and my uncle and my younger sisters went out to shop and get food, and i went through into her room to find some things, and i ended up finding them along with 2 old diaries of mine, which i haven't used in years - one of the diaries contained an old nsfw art from when i was 11, really scared she saw it.
the third diary, is one from recently. i'd say, one from when i was 12 years old up until now i've been using it but i haven't used it in months, knowing she'd kept it from me makes me cringe just thinking about the potiental notes she's written in there.
i wanna burn it but all the time i've placed into the diaries make me not want to.
what do i do in this situation and should i open up the diaries to check?
(and no, i don't wanna talk to my mom about it.)
@Nate715 Hi Nate. Good seeing you on the forums again. I'm really sorry your mom has invaded your privacy by reading your diaries. I know how upsetting that can be. I think it's wise of you to not want to talk to your mom about this right now while you are so upset. Confronting her about it while you are hurt or furious may just end up making things worse. I hope you are to take time to yourself and calm down. Trust is very important to have between parents and children and children and parents. I hope that when your emotions cool down that you and your mom are able to have the conversation about how important trust is. Writing our thoughts, dreams, feelings, hopes, vents, etc are all wonderful things to write down, and trust can be broken when the lines of privacy are crossed. I wonder if your mom wishes you could talk to her versus having to vent in your journal. Maybe she feels left out and doesn't have a clue about what's going on in your world. Whatever her reason it, it doesn't justify what she did. Wrong is wrong and that wasn't an ok to do. But please remember, two wrongs don't make a right. And please don't be so quick to react negatively when you are hurt or upset about something. You have every reason to feel the way you do, but I don't want you to say or do something you may regret later or get in trouble for. Ultimately, you are the one to decide what you do and I just hope you make wise, positive choices. Take care!
