I am so tired.
Life is seriously just not being kind. i thought August was the worst of it, but i guess not.
Not only am i grieving a breakup that was incredibly difficult for me that reignited a bunch of my health issues, i also had to move house and have been busy with exams. the past 4-5 months have been incredibly difficult for me, and now cos of an error my school made that i failed to catch in time, i might need to write finals in a different city, or potentially not at all. i just want to cry. I don't understand why these people have to be this way. like seriously, you could be on the verge of death and these people would still make you pay extra to rewrite and exam despite the medical bills.
Unlike before, i'm trying to deal with all of this on my own, my ex partner was the only person i confided in, and my mother is not exactly the most understanding person on the planet, especially when it comes to spending extra cash on stuff like a plane ticket. I also have another person in my life who is very romantically interested in me that i care about a lot, but in all honesty i don't know if i have it in me to date again for a while, or if i even like this person in that way. its all too much to handle, and i have flat nowhere to turn for comfort in all this.
I miss having a person i love, i miss being able to wake up and not be in physical pain, i miss being able to draw and relax and not feel guilty about it, and i miss not needing to be stressed, depressed, angry or confused 24/7.
@sunnyangel3333
Hi,
Sounds like you are being tested and are winning!~ Don't think about it all constantly or you can't see the solution - Don't let it rent space in your head just keep plowing forward as best as you can. Its a great idea to reach out onto 7cups, it helped me a great deal over the years. We just keep adapting and being creative. You are already creative so seek solutions to each problem and address them one at a time. I had to learn to self advocate but I was blessed with having several people helping me such as my counselors. I do all my therapy online an hour each week and twice every other week. Plus I use 7cups daily many times. Hold your chin up and never forget to smile!~ All of this struggle makes us much stronger than normal. Things will improve because; "if its not alright in the end, it's not the end!!~"
Tag me any time.
Blessings, Day
@sunnyangel3333
i do not belive i have the words that can help you
but all i can say is that i been through all you are going through , maybe not at once but i know what each of these feel like
for your mom go online and talk to friends or even strangers or just try therapy if the money is there
for health it starts with habits basic ones like waking up early and when they dont work you go to a doctor but most likely its cuss of mental issues making a few physical one much much worse
lonliness well thats a battle im still facing , you just need to let go be it through some drinking (not the alcholisim route) or watching funny stuff or doing stuff you enjoy and so in, because the blade of lonliness cuts yes but not deep after a while you build resestince and tolerance as the cuts get shallower because you are more focoused on other things , at the end when you actually remember it the blade no longer cut but simply gives you an itch you can shrug off at any time
of course there are much healtheir and better options outr there
but im speaking from experince and not from a specialization point here and again im not sure if anty of this will help
just know we are here for you
you already have a community here
and other communities elswhere you may not realize care for you , open up and talk to people and you will start getting better , not eveeryone folks you feel like trusting yet still opening up and talking /venting /explaining your issiues does help when the other side is giving you an ear
@sunnyangel3333
Things will get better my friend