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sunnyangel3333
414 M Embraced 3
recovering and improving
PathStep 3 Compassion hearts93 Forum posts28 Forum upvotes71 Current upvotes71 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2024 Member sinceJuly 29, 2024
Bio

I like cuddles


Recent forum posts
I am so tired.
General Support / by sunnyangel3333
Last post
 Monday
...See more Life is seriously just not being kind. i thought August was the worst of it, but i guess not.  Not only am i grieving a breakup that was incredibly difficult for me that reignited a bunch of my health issues, i also had to move house and have been busy with exams. the past 4-5 months have been incredibly difficult for me, and now cos of an error my school made that i failed to catch in time, i might need to write finals in a different city, or potentially not at all. i just want to cry. I don't understand why these people have to be this way. like seriously, you could be on the verge of death and these people would still make you pay extra to rewrite and exam despite the medical bills.  Unlike before, i'm trying to deal with all of this on my own, my ex partner was the only person i confided in, and my mother is not exactly the most understanding person on the planet, especially when it comes to spending extra cash on stuff like a plane ticket. I also have another person in my life who is very romantically interested in me that i care about a lot, but in all honesty i don't know if i have it in me to date again for a while, or if i even like this person in that way. its all too much to handle, and i have flat nowhere to turn for comfort in all this.  I miss having a person i love, i miss being able to wake up and not be in physical pain, i miss being able to draw and relax and not feel guilty about it, and i miss not needing to be stressed, depressed, angry or confused 24/7. 
Should I feel bad?
Friendship Support / by sunnyangel3333
Last post
 August 18th
...See more I have this friend I met a little while ago I had a crush on for a little (I don't anymore), and I feel kinda bad about something We were having a conversation, in my head a pretty mundane one but i guess maybe not, and in relation  to the conversation they asked me if I had a little crush on them - I panicked and said no cos at the time i wasn't ready to admit it because i didn't wanna go out of the friend stage of anything even a little, and then they assured me that if i did it was ok and they didn't mind- but the day after they vanished for a few days and now they don't talk to me as much... what should i make of all this, and what should i do-? 
Idk whats up
General Support / by sunnyangel3333
Last post
 August 28th
...See more I feel like i havn't slept in a month  like i know my sleeping schedule has been a bit all over the place with exams and moving house and depression and all that, but it just feels like no matter how much or little i sleep i feel the same dude and its not getting better  today i was walking around in the store with my mom and almost fell over while we were walking, i told her, she didn't care, so i just kept trying to walk in a straight line and most of the time it didnt work  i'm feeling dizzy and weird all the time, lightheaded, low in mood, and just extremely tired and drained. idk whats up
huh-
Relationship Stress / by sunnyangel3333
Last post
 August 13th
...See more Sooo  someone from a server i'm in just dmed me asking me if i wanted to be their sugar baby in exchange for getting to know me better cos they took an interest in me, and i have no idea what the heck to do rn-  I can't tell if this is dangerous, stupid, or a dumb prank- i have no idea how to respond --- 
Wow.
Depression Support / by sunnyangel3333
Last post
 August 11th
...See more My ex dmed me over the only platform they haven't blocked me on yesterday ( i honest do not care if they have me blocked ) to ask me if i was still going to send back the jacket they gave me on our trip last year. they stated they "didn't care" about the other stuff, since i'm having financial trouble i said no, and they did not give a damn about anything i just said, not the fact we were having financial issues, or the fact we were having a stressful move, no instead they just act annoyed. like excuse me, you live in a country where that stuffs much cheaper and you KNOW that.  I don't care how you feel about someone, being an a-hole is not it. Have some common decency, and at least pretend you ever gave a *** about me in the first place. The whole interaction left me feeling very upset, and i blocked them. I genuinely am starting to dislike this person because of how they handle this stuff, and i really do not want to so much as see their profile ever again. It triggered my depression and anxiety to act up again, and i'm seriously unhappy rn. 
waking up
Depression Support / by sunnyangel3333
Last post
 August 8th
...See more every day when i wake up in the morning, i feel the most depressed than any other time. sometimes i lay there and wonder why i'm even here, realize that i'm alone. all i want is to wake up and talk to someone again, be able to wake up and text someone, or wake up and see someone. i just start off the day feeling horrible, and have no one to support me when it gets rough. I just want someone to be there again that i can love and who will love me that i can look forward to seeing everyday. I would seriously just give anything for someone like that right now
I don't understand this stuff (need advice + general rant)
Relationship Stress / by sunnyangel3333
Last post
 August 8th
...See more I don't understand people - there i said it There's a lot happening in my life regarding relationships of all sorts, friends, family, romance - all of it. Just got out of like the worst break up ever (not my first one), and it hurt more than any of the others did by a long shot. As far as friendships go, i put them to the side for a very long time to keep my relationship together, truth is my ex took almost all my energy.  So yeah, don't have many friends, but it's getting better i guess. In family, trying to build a better relationship with my dad, moving into an apartment with my mom - and my mom and i have sort of an iffy relationship. she's verbally ab/sive on bad days, and sort of implies and acts like i'm the reason her life sucks?  In terms of romance, i'd actually like some advice is anyone has any! I've been in romantic relationships yes, but only 1 of them (most recent) was one where i was really in love with someone, so i don't understand how to navigate things properly. I struggle a lot socially, so i can't pick up when others feel romantically for me. I also don't know how to tell others when i feel for them? But heres the thing i need advice on:  there are currently 2 people in my life i think i might be interested in, and they're both giving me signals, but i'm not sure if they're those kinda signals. The online friend tells me they enjoy my compony, and that i help them and make them smile more than i know i do, and that they love talking to me every day. The other irl friend jumps at every chance to hang out with me, and seems to be wanting to get me some jewelry as a gift.. I asked if he wants to hang out, and he wants to come to my house for a movie day. I can't tell if either of them like me like that, and i'm too afraid to feel anything for either of them until i know...? Can anyone help me understand whether or not i'm misunderstanding social cues, and if i'm not, any advice on how to move forward with this stuff? I want to like someone, but i'm the kind not to start loving them unless i know they like me back 
Anxiety - The Panic meadow
Anxiety Support / by sunnyangel3333
Last post
 August 9th
...See more when i start to have meltdowns, anxiety or panic attacks, i go somewhere calming in my head, and i'd like to say it  close your eyes, and breath...  There's a meadow where the sun shines softly, and the sky is filled with the softest pink clouds. the grass sways in the wind, and there are flowers of all kinds that give off the most calming smell. There's a stream of clear water close by, it's so quiet you can hear it. If you decide to sit by the stream, you'll find yourself greeted by a furry friend, it's a little fox! his name is Benjamin. he's there to listen to you when things are overwhelming, and he'll lay with you when you need warmth.  this place is safe, away from noise, from chaos, and from pain. here you can be calm, here you can let yourself feel the grass, hear the stream and smell the flowers. This place is safe, here you are protected.  remember the meadow is always there if you need it, just take a second, close your eyes, and listen to the stream when Benji comes to say hello 💓
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