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How to achieve inner peace while living in state of loss ?

User Profile: NotFound20
NotFound20 September 19th, 2023

As we grow older, we keep losing people, dreams, and sometimes ourselves. Yeah, we gain a lot too.

But I am talking about the feeling of loss that gets created inside of us as we lose people, dreams, etc. Even though we move on and get busy with life, that feeling is still there, and it never goes away.

So, how do you achieve a state of inner peace or joy while being in this loss state?

There is a line that comes to mind from one of the web series "The Good Place": ‘Every human is a little bit sad all the time.'

That brings up the question: Can we really ever feel peace and happiness?


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User Profile: purpleTree4652
purpleTree4652 September 19th, 2023

@NotFound20

Hi, 20,

I am with you and understand your feelings and questions. I've come to accept and look forward to death. I try to live to the best in my morals and so am ready to be judged. I have come to know that God is waiting for me and my angels, all the animals who were and are in my life, and my baby, will be there waiting for me. I look forward to seeing them and being with them again. I am a believer. It is these things/beliefs that help me see the beauty in morals and beliefs, and knowing that I will be with all my angels again, and I look forward to that. I still cry from the deaths of my loved ones. But I see the beauty of heaven. And I look forward to it.

--tree

User Profile: Sasher
Sasher September 19th, 2023

I think with these longstanding, reoccurring issues it's good to get to the source of it to heal it.

User Profile: slowdecline48
slowdecline48 September 19th, 2023

I am no guru & certainly can't provide any conclusive answer to that... One thing that may be helpful is to understand that a life without loss & grief is not & can never be guaranteed. It is unrealistic to ask for such a utopia.

The real world has never worked that way & never will. It is not a completely orderly or safe place, nor has it ever been. When storm clouds form they do so as forces of climate, physics, etc. decree. When it rains, whoever is under the clouds will get wet. The storm makes no exceptions for nice people, however much we may desire otherwise.

The best mindset for this, I think, is to accept that chaos happens & sometimes people get caught in its path. Murphy's Law is real...as real as the laws of gravity, Pareto's ratio, & the speed of light. Basically, s*** happens. When the cow dung hits the fan, sometimes it gets splattered on us because we're in the wrong place at the wrong time. C'est la vie.

2 replies
User Profile: purpleTree4652
purpleTree4652 September 19th, 2023

@slowdecline48

I haven't heard of the pareto principle before.

1 reply
User Profile: slowdecline48
slowdecline48 September 19th, 2023

@purpleTree4652 You can read more about it here, if you like.

I've seen the principle manifest itself in workplaces, more than once. The ratio isn't always exactly 80-20 but when it is in effect, it's never too far away from that. So often in a given company, you have a minority of dedicated high performers with the rest of the staff made up of slackers or people who will not or cannot complete tasks nearly as well, for whatever reasons. I'm not saying this to judge anyone; it's just a statement of fact.

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User Profile: Tinywhisper11
Tinywhisper11 September 19th, 2023

@NotFound20 happiness is not a destination, it's a state of mind ❤❤

User Profile: NotFound20
NotFound20 OP September 19th, 2023

I believe my question has been misunderstood.

I am not saying that life will be full of happiness all the time. I was asking as we grow older we lose our loved ones to death and whatever we do in life that void created by that loss can never be replaced by any other person in life. Whenever you will think about them , you will feel that void that they are not with you and will never be with you in future.

So my question was , how to make peace with that void? How to stop feeling sad that your loved ones will never be with you?


2 replies
User Profile: slowdecline48
slowdecline48 September 19th, 2023

@NotFound20 Again, I am no authority on inner peace...the only advice I have is to accept that your loved ones can't live forever, & that sometimes their lives will be cut short. You have no control over the lengths of their lifespans, & there is no point in wanting any. We must accept that this world has always been a vale of tears. One of the most frequent causes of that is losing the people we cherish.

User Profile: Sasher
Sasher September 19th, 2023

@NotFound20 for me it comes from a belief in the after life, it might look differently for you, but I believe there is a way you can make peace with what you are going through. Maybe you haven't grieved fully 🤍

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User Profile: ghettosmurf
ghettosmurf September 24th, 2023

2 yrs ago I experienced the worse loss a human can ever experience.. my 20yr old son tragically and unexpectedly passed.. I’ve struggled with peace and happiness until this year I am rediscovering a new me and how to create peace and happiness in my life.. over time you can experience peace and happiness no matter your struggle..