Grief is so interesting

Grief is so interesting 

Two months ago I couldn't breath, I was talking to God and you multiple times a day, I couldn't go more then 10 min without you passing my mind, I couldn't stop crying, I couldn't function 

It felt like everything I knew about this world came crashing down

I didn't understand how the world didn't stop because you weren't in it

I was manic and lost my mind

I still think about you daily

Wednesdays are will never be the same

Its different though, I haven't cried in at least two weeks

I still feel empty but now its a functional empty 

I still think about your family and the boys but its just different

I still talk to God but its not always about you

I still talk to you but not as often

I didnt know a pain like that existed till you left 

Thats why on one hand I'm glad because I don't think I could live my life in that type of pain much longer on another I don't like that I'm functioning because it almost feels like I'm saying I can live this life without you in it and I can't or I don't even know its a sense of guilt, for what I'm not sure 

I hope your dancing, singing and laughing up there