Friends with strict parents
I feel jealous whenever I see people my age having fun with their friends. I always thought high school would be the best years of my life, filled with hangouts every weekend. But the last time I hung out with friends was in 2022 or early 2023, with a girl I thought would be my best friend, but she ghosted me for no reason then left. In junior year, I met three amazing girls, but their strict parents keep us from hanging out, they won't play video games with me. Since summer 2023, I've only hung out with family, and I feel very lonely. I want to experience the 'teenage dream,' but I'm turning 18 next year, and I’m worried I’ll miss out on this part of life.
an unfortunate sign of this internet age is widespread paranoia. i can tell you know what's real. keep rolling. the "adults" with "cubicles" are not doing any better, dont worry. they just won independence.
I don't want to be an adult though, I want to be a teenager forever, but it's useless if I miss out on it.
you will find independence.
@clixv0 Idk how to help you in that situation but I'll be happy to be your friend if you need me!☺️
@clixv0
I think many have been fed an idea that teen years are filled with fun never ending hangouts etc but for most this is simply not the case but the exception. Hanging out and going places often takes time and money and rides from parents etc. where are you seeing these super cool fun on social media? or people talking the next day? most go along of that was "go great" when the 20 minutes of fun was surrounded by an hour of boredom.
We see glimpses of others and assume every moment is a fast paced fun filled adventure while we sit at home. i bet you would be surprised at the reality.
Perhaps some do not play video games or can spend hours doing so. Some may have other items/ hobbies/ commitments going on you are not aware of. If you want fun make it make plans ... ask people who wants to all group game play or find an event or something and ask people to join you some parents let friends do something planned not vague " hang out" ideas that parents see as a way for something to go wrong.
Life does not change by chance ...... it does by change.....
I honestly can find online friends to play video games with me (even if it's a bit hard).. but I am desperate to go out with my friends and see the world, I even have in mind where we will go in case their parents happen to agree, I invited them over numerous times but I guess their parents won't change their minds.. I'll just stick in my house playing video games I guess.
@clixv0
How are your friends asking their parents? Your post says you have "places in mind in case they agree"
Some parents if strict ones especially, like Solid plans .........not agree to something first ........ and then places / plans or could be any one of these places could be on our list.... which is vague and could not instill confidence.
I mean it's not a dangerous place.. just my house or the mall?
@clixv0 im going through the same thing :(
i recently moved and i made new friends but i could never hang out with them and it contributed to a huge fallout and i also had a girl best friend but she randomly told me that she cant love me the way that i love her and she didn't feel like putting in any effort so i felt so depressed because i was all alone. and my mom is so strict that i cant live the teenage dream like the others like going to prom or going to homecoming or just hangout with anyone.
It's sad that people our age are having out having while we're stuck at home.
Making friends can be unnecessarily complicated. It is a delicate process that requires a generous amount of time and patience with no guarantees.
I am curious. What gave you the impression that your time in high school would be the best years of your life?
When I was younger I always saw my older cousins and siblings having the best time of their life in their teenage years.. I thought I would have a similar life.
Thank you. So. You observed them. You watched their behavior. They were
close to you. It looked like
they were having a good time. Many people have something they would like
to change no matter how happy they may look. Have you asked them what they were
concerned with at that point in their lives? While it may have appeared
that they were living the teenage dream, what honestly had them worried? Similarly, have you discussed the difficulties you have encountered
forming friendships with them? Finally, what expectations have they had for their own lives that haven't quite come to fruition?
To be honest, it would come off as strange and weird if I asked them that.. but I do get your point, they may be happy but still had their own worries and hardships. Also I haven't discussed with anyone how hard it is for me to make friends because I don't want to come off as pathetic..
You are not pathetic. Forming friendships is a challenge that many of us face, and there is nothing wrong with asking for help. It's the first step towards figuring out what works for you.
I had one more post I wanted to make on this thread.
I would like to take a look at how you define a friend. From what you have said, a friend is someone who you hang out with often and play video games with. These three individuals who you are not able to hang out with. At the very least, it would seem that you get along with them. Why do you not consider them your friends? If they are not friends, what are they? Most importantly, how would you feel if you did not already have those connections?
Finally, let's think of a good social interaction. A very basic one that lasts less than five minutes that occurs in passing. What would that look like? Why was it a good social interaction? Allow me to provide an example to demonstrate my point. Let's say that John smiles and says hello to someone he crosses paths with while walking at a local park. The gesture is returned. A simple smile and a hello. That's it. Both continue their walks separately. John feels better because he said something rather than walking by without having said anything at all. Why might that be so?
I do consider them my friends, but I wish we could spend more time together outside of school.
I don't know what do you mean by your last point but I think an interaction (even if it was simple) can motivate someone and have an positive effect on them? If that is what you meant.
@clixv0
WHY IS THIS PICKED FOR ME BUT I CANT CHOOSE A THERAPIST ONLINE AND MY ACCOUNT ONLY CHOOSES POST ABOUT THINGS RELATED TO DISLIKING PARENTS???!!
@forcefulShip9454
Teen members can't access a professional therapist on this website, but you can chat with other members on forums and group chats, and with volunteer listeners. Maybe you could explore this page https://www.7cups.com/community/ and see if theres any community posts you relate with more?
@clixv0 I know it could be not easy because you're young and want to have fun. I am pretty sure you have fun with family, but it's not the same. High School could be intimidating. You are going to find the right group of friends.
I hope so.
@clixv0 it must be difficult to feel like you are missing out on the high school life people are always talking and posting about - Im also currently in highschool and super open to listening if you ever feel like you want someone to vent to :) feel free to reach out Im more than happy to listen