First post
I’ve never done this before and I was a little hesitant to do this. I typed out a whole paragraph yesterday to post but stopped myself after rethinking. I’ve been struggling a lot and I just don’t know how to handle it anymore. I’ll start off by saying I lost my very close friend. She dropped me basically because of my mental health. It hurt and I was upset but it didn’t last long because the day after, my cousin died. Her viewing was today. I saw her and she looked beautiful but I could tell it just wasn’t her. I’m heartbroken over this and I don’t know how to help myself. Ive also been struggling with relationship issues. I have someone Im talking to, but I struggle with trust because my last relationship was life threatening. The guy I talk to now makes dark jokes and I take things like that seriously since what happened. They scare me. I told him and he stopped which is good and I don’t know why I can’t get over it. He’s a great guy and helps me. I ended up in the hospital over that relationship. I don’t wanna end up like that again. I’m starting to feel like that everyday and it makes me more anxious thinking about how I may become that way again. I never wanna feel like that again. Today was the viewing of my cousin and it was so hard. I felt like I had to go see her since Ive only saw her once since she was 2 months old. I told her bye and it was just one of the worst things Ive had to experience. Ive worked really hard to devote my life to God and since this Ive just felt distant from him. He was my only comfort and it hurts that as of now I can’t comfort myself in his words. I really just want to find a reason for this happening but I can’t. I feel so terrible for my uncle and aunt. Today, even though it probably wasn’t a good idea, I told my dad about my relationship because I wanted to get everything off my chest. He was angry and didn’t support it. He was gonna take me out of school and take my phone. I cant lose another person. Even though he says things that scare me, he’s helped me so much through this hard time. I’ve already lost so much I can’t lose anymore. I feel myself losing hope in life. I also have to go back in person to school. I went online due to some issues in the past. I have to go back soon and I’m very anxious. When I went online I noticed a lot of my friends becoming distant. So I feel alone in the sense of having someone to talk to. I just try to distract myself but I end up thinking about everything that has happened and I get anxious and honestly the feeling is unbearable. I don’t know how I’m gonna deal with this feeling everyday. I just hope someone can help or talk to me on here. I don’t know what else to do because my mom knows everything and is there for me but I still feel hopeless.
@snooks08 I'm so sorry about your cousin😥 I can see in your words how heartbreaking it is for you. You know she's safe now, an angel in heaven ❤ if your best friend left you for health reasons, then she was never your best friend, it might be hard to hear that, but you deserve more ❤ if your happy with this new guy, then that's all that matters ❤ it's understandable to be scared of him sometimes, that's the times you need to tell him not to, ok? Gives you a giant tiny hug ❤❤ I hope you find lots of great friends here, and good luck back in school, take one day at a time ❤
Thank you so so much. I actually thought no one would reach out so this actually meant the world to me that you read all of this. You’re right she’s a beautiful angel in heaven and I’m glad she’s at peace. You’re also right about my friend. She always treated me bad anyways but I just wanted to keep her. I guess I’m used to the toxicity sometimes. Yes I’m very very happy with him. I love him a lot. He understands everything I go through and he loves me a lot. It makes me feel better being understood and loved. Even though my dad doesn’t accept I wanna keep being with him. Thank you so much I really really want you to know this means everything to me💗💗
@snooks08 awww your so sweet ❤❤ you seem like a great person, sometimes we hang on to friends just because, I'm glad she showed her true colours and is gone. Your boyfriend sounds like a great guy ❤❤ always reach out here and get everything of your chest ❤❤ hugs you tightly ❤
@snooks08 I've been here before. It's so hard when everything feels like it's against you. Keep doing everything you can do business as usual, but take walks every day. It's amazing what 30 minutes of walking every day can do for you. I don't believe in anything and hate every destress and breathing strategy on the market. The only thing that helps me is walks. Walk it out buddy. You got this. You da goat
I'm also new glad to be here :)
There is a lot of strength to be found from these experiences- we can start to reframe our thinking to look at how strong, courageous and brave we are for surviving our traumas. Write them down or say them out loud to yourself as many times as you need too. Many times our anxiety comes from thinking too far into the future or into the unknown, but if we can reframe our mindset to focus on the present, we can find a lot of happiness and peace. There is so much joy and happiness that can be found in life 💕
