Family
I just wanted to let this out...
I am 25, I was raised by my grandparents who gave me everything (material) but made me this anxious, difficult and sad mess (cause I grew up with passive-agressive words, with constant manipulation, with the fear of never being enough, without being able to express my feelings...) anyway, two years ago I left home.
I moved to another country, I started living my own life for the first time, I finally felt free, more confident, happier, safer... They started being grateful for everything I did when I was there, they even told me they love me and they were proud of me (it took 23 tears to finally hear it, and many miles between us so they see it), and I have been working on myself for a while, trying to heal, trying to deal with some mental issues they left me, trying to be a better person, caring about me for the first time, doing what's best for me...
And today they told me I am an ungrateful daughter cause I only care about me, like I am so selfish for trying to be fine or doing my life...
I know I am not ungrateful, I did everything I could for them when I was there, I tried to be the best daughter, I never gave them any trouble, I had good grades, never went partying, never drank or got high, I helped them in the drugstore they own, I never asked for money or stuff even though I needed it...
Why is it so bad to finally care about me first?
@Popsicle99 Hi there. First, I would like to let you know how proud I am of you! Second, there is nothing wrong with prioritizing yourself! Popsicle, you are so special and there is no one quite like you in this world. You have this life, so it is best you make the best of it! From the sound of it, you seem like a wonderful daughter/granddaughter... and I really wish the people in your life could see it and your efforts. After years and years, you finally picked yourself and are caring for yourself. What you did, Popsicle, is a great big act of self love! You see the importance, value, and worth in you and you took action. Please always do what is in the best interest for you and your wellbeing. Loving yourself and choosing yourself is not selfish! What you did is beautiful-- so very beautiful! I am truly so proud of you for taking the steps to do it. <3 Please do not let anyone bring you down. If you are in a better place, physically, mentally, and emotionally, then that's wonderful. It's great you are thriving. I wish nothing but happiness and success in your life. You are so important and deserve all great things in life. Please don't ever forget it. :)
@Popsicle99
It is difficult to make sense the wrong doing people did to us. The more we think about it, the more it feels unjust. But out of all kind of unfair things people could do, one of the most damaging is when they mess with our head. Noone should ever feel bad for taking care of themselves. You should applaud yourself for having the courage and strength to stand up for yourself when noone else would. Don't let what they say get into your head. Focus on your well being and continue choose what's good for you.
@Popsicle99 It is understandable that you are feeling some sort of way when it has been your way of thinking for so long. Now being away from it you are beginning to ask yourself if this is what you want and you are enjoying it. It sounds like you are finding who are truly are. You are being true to yourself and still being a respectful individual while doing so and keeping true to values you hold. These are hard things to navigate, so I applaud you for following your heart.