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Expectations/hype vs. time

User Profile: Michelh1996
Michelh1996 April 9th

Anyone else finding themselves always living towards events and activities, wanting the time before to pass as quickly as possible, only to find the actual event also passing just as quick, if not quicker? 🤔

Like the build-up and hype towards a holiday like Christmas or Easter, buying stuff and planning dinners, treats or gifts and discussing them. Or a cool day out that you look forward to that happens in a few days, so you want to pass the few days before asap, the day arrives and it is just one day, that passes just as quick or maybe doesn't even live up to the build-up or expectations. An event that you look forward to for days or even weeks might just last a few hours, like a fancy dinner or something, 2 hours, poof, done, over. ✨

I have been getting more and more aware of this and it is messing with my mind a bit. I am not sure how to deal with this. Like I am stuck in a rhythm and look forward to the special moments, but they either pass very quickly which makes me ponder and wanting to turn back the time or sometimes they don't live up to the hype that I used to feel when I was younger. 🐤

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User Profile: toughTiger6481
toughTiger6481 April 9th

@Michelh1996

I think many do this it is IMO do to the hype and expectations of advertising and media....no one shares a horrible time on FB or no gathering shown in ads show people whom maybe do not get along with a family member etc everyone has room for 20 guests all with smiles like they are being dosed with laughing gas......

Real life we run around trying to make the perfect dinner / and desserts and have activities only to have something burn or not come out as expected ................small differences or friction  between guests .......have some leave early maybe weather does not cooperate. 

When we were kids we just were happy to gather with others and maybe see family we have not kids can make a game out of anything. we did not prepare all and then clean up etc most gatherings as events do not live up to hype and we do not have the special moments always shown in tv/ movies/ ads 

3 replies
User Profile: Michelh1996
Michelh1996 OP April 9th

@toughTiger6481 I think this is definitely a factor and what you're saying is true. I wanted to add that usually because these moments pass so quickly and you build it up so much there is more and more pressure on making the most of the actual moment, even though it is only short, it adds to it that slight inconveniences will leave you annoyed that it is not perfect or what you expected.

Advertising and stuff definitely adds to this, because it fuels your image of perfection and regulates the build up a lot, creating an image, memories and all. This perfect image can also be depressing or confronting for people in certain situations. And for some reason memories of past events always seem more perfect or something, I don't know why...

On top of that for myself, I notice even if it was fun or good, that I can spend the days after wanting to go back to that feeling, thinking I want it back, or relive it and maybe even think that I should have been even more "in the moment" at that time, as if because the event passed so quickly and time did fly by, I didn't enjoy it enough.

2 replies
User Profile: toughTiger6481
toughTiger6481 April 10th

@Michelh1996

I know many people that would like a do over to like you said not miss something or make something better.   we are on alert for the special moment .... so alert we sometimes miss it 

1 reply
User Profile: Michelh1996
Michelh1996 OP April 10th

@toughTiger6481 Indeed, very difficult to not get caught up in expectations. For me, also time plays a factor as I feel these times pass and I wanted them to be longer or start them over to live it again. 

Missing those moments can happen too for some yea... cues Ironic by Alanis Morissette🎵

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User Profile: PineTreeTree
PineTreeTree April 9th

@Michelh1996 Life may be in the journey not the destination. There a million moments along they way that we squander waiting for the big event. When it comes we are too caught up in our expectations to enjoy it. 

3 replies
User Profile: Michelh1996
Michelh1996 OP April 10th

@PineTreeTree True, I notice this in certain situations for others, as they might get annoyed at someone for not doing something a certain way or getting/having something just because in their head de either expected it or they associate it with the image of the event/happening and they badly want it to be perfect.

But for myself as well, I recognize these expectations or the hype beforehand, so it is hard to always live in the moment at certain exciting times. I wonder how to improve this or how others deal with that.

2 replies
User Profile: PineTreeTree
PineTreeTree April 10th

@Michelh1996 Can you predict exactly how any future event will play out? Be excited, arrive at the event and bring your awareness. 

1 reply
User Profile: Michelh1996
Michelh1996 OP April 11th

@PineTreeTree Some might even say, the hype and built up beforehand is part of the experience. Like the argument I am making with time, if you don't live towards it a bit, the moment arrives and passes by even quicker. And you might still end up feeling like you didn't enjoy it enough or feel like it passed by too quickly again. Maybe it is good to get into it a bit beforehand as well right?

Difficult one this xD live in the moment vs. plan everything and somewhere in between. Anyhow time seems to be the enemy 😲😇

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User Profile: Tinywhisper11
Tinywhisper11 April 14th

@Michelh1996 yeah I understand that. But you know it's the build up that I find the most exciting/fun part of any holiday or event. You get to go shopping for the holiday/event, maybe decorating, writing invites, wrapping presents. Doing the traditional build up activities. That's the best part ❤ and you can drag that but out as long as you want. So say you start getting ready for Halloween a month before. You plan or know your actual Halloween party, on Halloween night. But the month before, you can decorate, make decorations, try your hand at pumpkin carving, do a local ghost walk, solve some mystery puzzles, spooky baking treats. Theirs no limit on the fun you can have, preparing for the main event😁❤

I don't know if that's helpful, but anyways, gives you a giant tiny hug ❤❤

3 replies
User Profile: Michelh1996
Michelh1996 OP April 14th

@Tinywhisper11 I think you're completely right and this is a beautiful way of thinking about it. I recognize this as well and sometimes this leads to really nice and traditional moments to enjoy. Basically making it a nice period rather than just a day or event. Still it is difficult sometimes to not forget this with all the routines and stuff to deal with like work-life etc.

But I really love your point, and it is absolutely something that I, and probably others as well, can learn from and do (even) more. Something about the journey and the destination? 🏞️🤩

Besides that though, it is a bit different with one time events like going to the movies or like the other day, going for a nice dinner for my birthday. Those one time events don't really have a buildup and most of the time around them life still happens as usual. Like still having to work during the day or something and then doing the fun thing afterward. Those moments are even more an enemy of time and face a risk of passing by even quicker sometimes right? 🤔 

2 replies
User Profile: Tinywhisper11
Tinywhisper11 April 15th

@Michelh1996 yep your right there.🤔🤔 maybe plan more one of events like something every week, so you always have something to look forward to. It doesn't have to be expensive, a picnic in the park. Or a bbq, maybe a fun games night with friends, or just a movie night with lots of popcorn. Exploring nature of history trips. Maybe just meeting a friend once a week and have a coffee. Life is all about those happy moments, so make as many as you can ❤

also I don't leave the caring home where I live, and I don't work ♿ or have family. So theese things are probably easy for me to say, but not easy to do ❤ hugs you tightly ❤

1 reply
User Profile: Michelh1996
Michelh1996 OP April 15th

@Tinywhisper11 True! I am always trying to come up with those moments and events to make it so there is more to think about than just the daily routine and work and all that stuff. It is also about those moments itself, easy to be in them and see them go by so quick as you want to enjoy them to the fullest. ⏰🙏 Hype and expectation also playing a role in that. ✨

Sorry to hear about your home situation, but from that and your words I feel like you do understand the value of creating those moments to enjoy and find that spark even more. And also maybe know even better how to value them? Definitely better than me at this moment in time! It makes me a bit sad but at the same time blessed because there is much to learn from different people's perspectives and situations in life, just like in this instance, thanks for that! 💚 Hugs all around and much love! 💚

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