Building a Ladder

Tw: deep discussion, reflection questions, mentions of family stresses and internal thoughts.

Good afternoon everyone, My name is InsightfulPhoenix. I wanted to take sometime and discuss something that I have taken some time to think about. When we go through things within our family, especially internal family members we often notice that we find ourselves detaching from them due to their toxicity. This is something that should be commended, because as humans we are able to make choices that are better for our mental health, emotional healthy, physical health and spiritual well being. When being surrounded by toxic family members, you have a tendency to have the 4 cores of mental well being tarnished which is not okay. The reason why most find it hard to let go of what once was and what is no longer helpful to them is because as children we are taught that "family is more important than friends" this is true to an extent.

If you are someone that has had to question the motives of your own internal family, and even those that are on the external side. You are no stranger to finding friends, being more of your chosen family which is acceptable considering the circumstances. How many close friends can you say you consider family at this point? What have they done to help you, and what were the ways you felt about it afterwards? Questions like this help us determine what is best for us because we hone in on the important of being nurtured, respected, cherished and taken care of in the appropriate ways. Even though, they are friends those are the trusted few that have taken you in and treated you as if you were one of their own or vice versa. 

Many in today's society used to see things like that as a problem, because the media portrays it that way and that is far from true. Not everyone comes from loving family's and are not always placed that the top of the list as being a priority. That is why as humans when we age to a more mature age, we can now make those choices that are better for our state of mind, and you know what they say " Sound mind. Sound Body. ". Even the statement, "Birds of a feather flock together." could match how some of you feel about family relations, and that is more than okay because sometimes being outcasted from your own family can show you the importance of self- appreciation, self- confidence and even self-awareness. The term "Building a Ladder" in this case is used to building up the fundamental needs for yourself, and those that do not fit within that internal check list then has to take time to reflect on themself. 

Remember you are not obligated to take care of those that did not want to take care of you in the first place, this could be for anyone in the family that you have had issues with in the past. Always put yourself in the front seat, because no one else can take care of your needs/wants but you. 

Reflection time: 
1. When was the last time you had to detach from someone that was supposed to care for you?
2. Why do you feel that chosen family is more important that immediate family? 
3. Do you believe that you have been accomplishing the goals you need to "Build a ladder" for yourself? Why or why not?