A place to share :)
@ImpudentIncognito @cyan8731 just keeping a space ready and open for us to communicate or share, or come back to at any time if we need that empathy and relatability! I'm so glad I have come across you both today 😊
@navyAcai8433 Thank you for creating this thread Navy! I was actually about to create one for us ACoNs [Adult Children of Narcissists].
Maybe we can share a bit of our back stories here?
I grew up in a mixed-raced/mixed-cultured background.
My (covert) NPD mother is an immigrant from another country, and is highly Catholic.
My (overt) NPD father is in the country I currently reside in, he's also very religious.
My childhood was riddled with physical & verbal abuse from my parents...and SA from my mother.
I almost got a beating twice from my NPD father, couldn't exactly remember the first time the reason, but the second time, he didn't like that I "looked gay" basically and was ready to throw me out of the house both times....My NPD mother stopped him, even though she used to hit me a lot...
In my adult years, as soon as I turnt 18y.o., I left the house.
I hadn't contacted my father in years, until this new years, and there wasn't much to say, all he would talk about was religion and politics... My mother is kind of "low-contact" but I recent-ish went no-contact because she drives me INSANE...
She didn't recognize my son as her own grandson because my (abusive & alcoholic) ex-fiance wasn't her ethnicity, her religion, was "too short" and we had a kid without getting married first...oh, plus she didn't handpick my spouse...so she wasn't happy about that...
I've had body issues because of her too, she always commented on how "disgusting" and "bone-y" my body was. How big my feet is, how "hairy" I am for a "girl"(I'm a woman, not a child. I'm GROWN and she still calls me "girl", it feels like an insult). She never used to say "I love you" growing up, and now she suddenly does...She's never apologized ONCE in her entire life, except to say "I'm sorry YOU feel that way" or "I don't remember that"...and that was it...
Anyways, that's just a small portion or bit about my backstory...
My oldest and youngest brother live with her...
I don't talk to my 2 oldest brothers, as they are her good little "soldiers" and I'm low-contact with younger brother, because my NPD mother likes to eavesdrop on our conversations...
If you guys are comfortable sharing, I would like to hear about you! :) @cyan8731 & @navyAcai8433
@ImpudentIncognito I'm so sorry about your situation. To go through so much abuse and witness it really takes away from us you know.... for me, my earliest memory was my dad beating up my mum. I was small and I asked why he was hitting her every day? Until my mother took my under her wing and badmouthed the entire family to me. I felt against them and I felt like I always had to take care of my mother. I thought she was the only one there for me. Until that myth was broken and she proved herself to be absolutely terrible. I used to deal with her b.s but I still felt a lot for her, but I was under her spell/was blinded. My dad (aggressive and violent to me and my mom) kicked us out of his house and my mom and I had to live seperately. That's when her real colors came out. She was manipulative, gaslighting, provoking me to be angry on her. She has a huge attachment to her money, and as I was young and living with her so she had to take care of me financially. She really did the most with me then and even stole my savings from my account (because I was a minor and she was my guardian in control of my account) and basically without my knowing my money and all was taken by her. She also loves her side of the family (her sis, her sister's sons, her mother), loved them so much that she was ready to sacrifice her love, time and effort for me towards them. She even stole my books and copies to give to them because she wanted to benefit them. All of this, without my knowing. Later due to not wanting to spend more money, she came back to live with my dad. She has a lot of money, she works a great job, and has her own house and car. A lot of money in the bank. My father has always been aggressive, violent and egoistic. Honestly no problems at home ever had a solution because he always knew what's best and he imposed it on us. I was very controlled growing up.
