Advice and Support Needed! Huge Test in 2 Days
Hello everyone!! I have a big test coming up in two days and to be honest I do not feel really ready for it. Ive taken it twice already and both times I didn’t do well. This is my last chance to take it within this admission cycle. I’ve had such a hard time studying and focusing especially since going through some deep personal stuff that changed my life. It just hasn’t been easy since my parents are pressuring me to get a certain score on it and have told me that they would make me pay if I didn’t get that score…
Advice and support would be nice please! I’m super stressed and am so worried of not doing well a third time and disappointing my parents who are already angry at me for not “trying my best” even though I am trying my best rn despite having dark thoughts and trying to take care of myself mentally first. This test literally determines my future in education. What should I do? I’m freaking out
@fearless100
hey there.. im seeing this post quite late so im assuming a lot has changed since
i really hope that the test went better than you expected but regardless of how it went i hope that your family was understanding and supportive and that you have been kind to yourself as much as you can
Your tone sounds like you really understand the importance of this exam both for your future and for your parents and that you do care more than anyone else possibly could as it is “your” exam at the end of the day
with that in mind im sure you “have” indeed been trying your best even if your family doesn’t always see it and with all you said, you’ve tried your best despite a lot of other stuff going on and making even just surviving hard somedays
im proud of you for that and i think you deserve to be proud of yourself too
if you do still check 7 cups i would love to hear an update from you on how the exam went, how you are feeling and how things are going at home
sending you lots of love and virtual hugs
Hello! Thank you for your kind words and support, it means a lot to me. I appreciate the virtual hugs.
I haven’t found out my test result yet but I felt good during the exam! It was a long test, like 5 hours. So it was hard to maintain focus but I tried to not overthink the questions. I get the results back soon so I’ll see! I’m just worried that if I did badly that a) my parents will get mad and b) my future will suffer.
it’s sweet of you to care and be so kind.
@fearless1000
hey hey!
you are welcome for the hugs haha
i always have more if you ever need some
Thats awesome to hear! 5 hours is a looong test :o its more than natural to have some trouble managing time and staying focused
i would love an update when you get your results!
and both of those fears make a lot of sense, i hope it is what you hope for but even if it isnt please try to remember yo udid try your best and that while it can affect your future or make things at home rather hard for you for a while, it isnt the end of the world, future is incredibly unpredictable and you have tens of turning points and opportunities to change your path and improve your life and build your future ahead of you💜
take care of yourself and have a lovely rest of your day
Thank you so much for the message and your kind words! I’ll definitely keep you updated when I get the results in a couple of days. I appreciate all of your support and kindness, it means a lot to me. 💜
@fearless1000
anytime💜
Update: it didn’t go well, didn’t do well (got a score in the 46th percentile) and am now spiraling/worrying about my future. I’ve had such *** luck recently. My whole life seems to be going downhill.
@fearless1000
hey there💜 im sorry to hear it was not good.. i can imagine how it feels really disappointing and gives you a lot to overthink, attack yourself and be anxious about
i know it can feel like your whole future is gone or that everything in your life is hopeless and irreversibly affected by it
take a deep breath
while that feeling and thought process makes a lot of sense and anyone in your shoes might’ve felt the same, your feelings and thoughts are not facts and thats not true
first, dont you ever stop remembering that you did try your best even if life was being a whole lot to even just survive thru lately and that is all that can be expected of anyone
im proud of you for trying your best, regardless of the outcome
second, no test in early adulthood is going to determine your future or be your life or death once in a life time opportunity for success
yes this might have been the most straightforward path to what you think a good future looks like but your vision of a good future can change drastically in time so that isnt even a garauntee
but also, you are young with a loooooooong path ahead of you, this means you will have many big turning point moments and second and third and fourth opportunities to improve or change the direction of your life, in terms of education, career, social life choices, etc
how are your parents taking it?
*sends super tight hugs and cupcakes and hot coco*
@Listeningsarinn
*secretly takes notes on how to reflect and be empathetic*
@JaceWayland
xd, you flatter me jace 💜
Hello, thank you so much for your kind response!! It is so sweet of you to care and check in on me. I also really appreciate your support, empathy, and compassion. I appreciate the hugs and hot chocolate hehe.
Like you said, I am happy to have just made it through the process alive and am trying to focus on healing mentally and physically now. Also, I loved how you said that this may not seem like the easiest path right now but maybe it will be the right path for me.
My parents told me that they were proud of me for trying but have been very hard on me since. Criticizing me in others areas of my life when I am really trying my best just to hold on to everything.
I definitely think that I could do better on the test when I am in a better place mentally and physically but I did the best under the circumstances I was in. It’s just hard making a big lifetime decision now post-test.
Please take care of yourself and it’s so refreshing to see that there are some genuinely good and caring people like you 🤍💛
Goodluckð§¡
May I ask, what are things that you struggle with in your study? For eg concentration, study methods, procrastination time, etc.
I'm doing a research on concentration and study plans, so I'll remember you when I finish.
Hello! Usually I do not have any issues with studying. However, this test was a very big deal in terms of its weight for my future. Also, when I was studying for the test I was going through a large breakup and that made studying a lot harder as emotionally I wasn’t okay or in the right mindset to focus. Instead of studying I would cry which wasn’t helpful. It was hard for me to concentrate when I wasn’t emotionally okay. I’d get distracted easily and dwell in my heartbreak.
@fearless1000
hey hey💜 aw you are welcome and anyyyytime
im so so glad that you can see that, its so important to not just dismiss the effort and ignore the circumstances and to have self compassion
and yes, not the easiest oath but might end up being the right path leading to a future and specific opportunities/situations you might have never come across in the ideal circumstances
im glad your parents have been supportive at least in word if not as successfully in action, i can imagine their not seeing or acknowledging your efforts would be frustrating and sometimes hurtful to face
Im sure you could have done so much better too if things were better and you were in a better state yourself, but you’ve done what you can and at the end of the day its you and your wellbeing that matters most
What are the next steps to take with the exam results at hand?
Also, thank you so much for your sweet comment, i definitely do care and its so good to know that it actually shows in my words 💜
Hello again! You’re so right that at the end of the day it’s our well being that matters most. If we are not well we cannot perform our best if we are not at peace.
As for my next steps I am thinking about completely pivoting and going to study in a different country and different system! It’s a bit scary but I have already gotten into another program abroad (without needing the test) and I think that is the direction the universe is pushing me towards. Again, it’s sweet of you to care and continue to check in on me.
Please take care of yourself and have a great day!
@fearless1000 heyy if you need help to study text me :)
Hello! Thank you so much for offering to help me study, that is so kind and thoughtful, I appreciate it so much. Take care please ☺️
All you can do is your best! There is no definition on what that is. You are doing this for you. Speak it into existence... "when you pass". You will. Even a not pass is a learning experience. You learned what you liked and did not. You got this!!
Thank you so much for your kindness and thoughtfulness! I really appreciate your support. Take care of yourself please ☺️🤍
You’re not defined by any test score, no matter how much pressure it feels like right now. I totally get what you're going through, I’ve been there too. I had a certain path I thought I had to take, and when it didn’t go the way I imagined, I felt like I was at a dead end. But let me tell you something: sometimes life has bigger plans for us than the ones we create in our heads. Maybe this isn’t your path, but something even greater is waiting for you. It’s not meant for you to succeed at this particular thing right now, and that’s okay. It doesn’t mean you’ve failed or that you’re not capable, far from it. You’ve survived through so many challenges already. Think about that! Your resilience, your strength, those are the things that define you.
I’m not gonna sugarcoat it: I had dreams too, dreams that felt like life-or-death, and when they didn’t happen the way I thought they would, I was crushed. But I didn’t stop. I didn’t stop fighting for myself. Now, I’m in a place I never imagined, doing things I never thought I could. The journey is just as important as the result, if not more. What you’ve learned along the way, the challenges you’ve faced and survived, those are what matter. The process, the ups and downs, the growth, the persistence, that’s what truly counts.
Be gentle with yourself, okay? Every time you blame yourself, you’re hurting your inner child. Stop putting that burden on yourself. If it helps, put a picture of your younger self on your phone lock screen, as a reminder to treat yourself with the care you deserve. Stop thinking you’re less than because you didn’t get the outcome you wanted. You tried. You kept going. That in itself is worth celebrating. You have everything you need to succeed, your worth isn't tied to any test or any result.
And as for your parents and anyone else who has their own expectations of you, people are gonna say a lot of things. They’ll try to push their views onto you, and it’ll feel like their validation is the only thing that matters. But listen, their opinions are just that: opinions. At the end of the day, you’re the one living your life, and you can’t let others control the way you feel about yourself. They might not understand your journey, but that’s not your fault. And you have no obligation to prove anything to anyone else, especially when it comes to your worth. You know what you’re capable of, and just because things didn’t go the way they thought they would, doesn’t mean you’ve failed.
Remember, you are capable, and this is just one chapter. Trust me, life has so much more for you. Keep going, keep believing in your abilities, and never, ever underestimate your potential. You’ve got this!
Hello! Thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful response, I really appreciate it and you so much.
You’re so right that life has bigger plans for us. We just aren’t aware of it yet. I truly to believe that I am supposed to go study somewhere else (like in a different country) I feel like all of this has shown me that.
I am proud of you for never giving up on your dreams. I am inspired to hear your story and hope that I can have similar success! Very wise words.
Also, I did just what you told me! I put a picture of myself as a little kid on my phone lock screen to remind myself to be kind to that sweet child. Such a good idea! Thank you so much for your advice. I’ll try my best to follow it. You seem so wise. Thank you for your advice and kindness! Take care of yourself please ☺️
@fearless1000
So if you hug and it doesn't bother you.. the following gif is for you.. if not.. disregard.. but know I'm sending warm thoughts your way for encouragement purposes
Testing always makes me nervous. Grounding exercises and trying to remember to stay calm are the best I can do at times. Remember that getting stressed over being stressed is a vicious circle and that it will shortcut your short and long term memory.
So be kind to you. Tell yourself the encouraging things that you would tell a friend. If that includes advice, follow the advice you would give a friend you deeply care about which you would want to see do their best and succeed.
@orangeOcean5193
Uhh,. it didn't include the hug loading gif.. but..it was supposed to be at the end of the above post.
Still figuring out these things.
Thank you so much for your kindness and advice! I appreciate the virtual hug ☺️ you’re so right that it is a vicious cycle being stressed over being stressed. I really appreciate the time and effort you put into the response, thank you and take care of yourself please!
