the qualities of a "perfect listener"?
In your words, jott down the characteristics required to be a good listener... If you had to nominate someone, who would that be?
@satanClaus
Although there are some qualities, (empathy, compassion, professionalism) that are typically found in an individual's ideal listener, I think that everyone has their own version of an "ideal listener." That's why not all listeners work for everybody :o People need different things, depending on who they are, what state of mind they're in, and what topics they need help with. There's no universally "perfect" listener, just like there's no "ideal person." Personally, my ideal listener would be extremely empathetic and understanding, and they wouldn't mind repeating things and stuff. It's also helpful when people's minds work in a similar way as mine, because I've found that people with minds similar to mine understand what I'm saying better. I can't choose just one person, but a few wonderful people who popped into mind of my ideal listener are taggled below :P
@ZaraSmiles @amazingRea @arxxxh @MidniteAngel @canadaGranger6 @Maxx421 @cdname @ImL @jadey1888 @serenaxkov @ImNotAlex @RammyMarie @Logan73
@EnigmaticPetrichor
Agreed!! Though i rate compassion higher than any quality. I find your list colorful and thought provoking. And i agree that there is no perfect listener. But may be someone might be perfect for you 😝. What do you think our listener community should improve upon if they wish to be closer to the "ideal listener" image?
I like Listeners who try their best to understand your situation, try not so much to give you advice but to help you explore your situation better so that you can get to those answers you aren't willing to go to by yourself. Sometimes you need that kind of support, to trust your gut, to be sure you aren't making a mistake.
I also like Listeners who are devoted to your chat, who are willing to give you time to process both your answers and their questions (if any) and who will not make you feel like you are abandonded after you opened your heart to them.
They are around us.
@imaginativeMelon7014
Awesome description! I wish to be like that. I have been asking fellow members (who have been here for more than an year or two) about the listener quality at the site. Nearly all of them have said that it has gone down.... That saddens me. I wonder why that might be happening? Any ideas? Please....
@satanClaus
I'm not sure. I have been here as a Member for a few months only. I've been a Listener for about a year now. I believe what changed may be about how easily we let ourselves influenced by others behavior. If others perceive 7 Cups as bad, they tend to start seeing bad things first as well. Also, it may be possible the quality has changed because many Listeners get involved in projects first and then give a chance to members. But I don't know how things were before 2015...
Hi Sam!
Did you get any more detailed feedback from members about what in way they felt quality had gone down? @Anomalia has been leading some work on re-vamping the training for new listeners. There has been a lot of discussion but I think it's still hard to know what to focus on. It looks like the first thing that will happen is the training will be made more difficult so that people who don't take it seriously are less likely to get through and become listeners.
Like you, I'd be interested in any ideas anyone has about all this.
@satanClaus
@RarelyCharlie
Hey Charlie!!
I am glad that such a project is already up. I talked to a few members both as a listener and a member.
The first thing that most of them pointed out was enthusiasm. They stop giving out the same amount of interest they did in the beginning.
Second would be the service. This one is based on personal experience. I requested for a mentor more than 2 weeks ago. I got one. We talked only once, to discuss the time. She never replied. It was disheartening. I really wanted someone to guide me. I also had applied for verified listener badge. I am yet to be contacted. So I think the lag and lack in service is a factor. I believe that we as listeners also stand as the an example of our community for new listeners.
Thirdly, as my friend above pointed out. Many listeners lay more emphasis to projects, sidelining members to the second.
One of my frequent members said thay at times listeners become too involved. They project their own problems during a session. Though i do believe that we need to form a rapport, any kind of emotional projecting is harmful in my member's words "confusing and unprofessional"
The last one stands in contrast to the above. There is a thin line between professionalism and rudeness. A friend who is also a member told me that sometimes it feels as if the person opposite to you is disinterested and being rude.
I can only remember these points as of now. I would love to be a part of the project though!! 😆
Hi Sam!
Those are very good ideas about what could be improved. Seems to me the common thread, perhaps, is taking listening seriously and professionally without going too far and losing interest in the person as a person. I think the training should have a section on professionalism. Maybe that might help.
The call for volunteers is here (in the listeners-only area of the forums): Help Re-vamping New Listener Training
There's an older public thread about it here: Opinions Needed: New Listener Training
@satanClaus
@RarelyCharlie
Thanks Charlie i am gunna take a look at the link now!! Oh btw would you like to add someone who has been an awesome listener over time??
I never use my member account to seek support here, so I really don't have a personal opinion 
I suspect different listeners concentrate on different kinds of contribution to 7 Cups. For example, some listeners might be great at giving advice in their area of expertise. Others might be great at taking general requests. Others might avoid general requests and never give advice, but they are great as long-term listeners for members they meet in rooms and forums. And so on...
In a way, therefore, I agree with @English4Life on this. But I also agree with you that there are some ideal characteristics that it would be useful to identify and be clear about in order for us all to improve.
@satanClaus
There are no qualities of being a "perfect" listener. Each listener has his/her own way of listening and communicating to the person who they are helping. Probably one common trait of all listeners, is how each and everyone of us listen to the person. We hear their stories, their woes, their problems, and many more. Each listener is unique. Just be comfortable with who you are and do your best to help that person.
@English4Life
I agree with you. You are right about the fact that there is no perfect listener. I just wish for an insight as to what our members think is a "perfect" or close to ideal listener. A kind of general feedback. i know we should always be comfortable in our skin and be who we are, Due to the situational issues of members we have to stretch and mould ourselves to comfort them. At least I've experienced that. You are right though. 😆
I guess no one can be perfect, but I do know people who embody the traits for such a listener
@skyisblue - shows the importance of empathy and the clear distinction between empathy and sympathy. This understanding is fundemantal for listening.
@EnigmaticPetrichor - displays positivity and energy in even the most gloomy situations. This great mindset is absolutely necessary to help members through their own difficulties and show them the silver lining.
@colorfulJoy84 - represents loyalty to the 7 Cups standards and professionalism. It's important to stick by the rules and remain respectful towards one another despite how difficult the circumstances may be.
@CelegnirCuthalion - is considerate and easily creates a comforting environment for his members. This assurance of safety allows members to be more open and trusting.
@KenSebirion - is genuinely compassionate. Listeners like him who go out of their way to reconnect and check up on you deserve a lot more recognition. It shows that they genuinely care and are not doing it as a chore.
@Experiment630 - is always so bubbly and full of excitement! These kinds of listeners bring cheer to even the darkest of days.
@Glue - shows that there's always beauty even in the little things. This ability to see good in the most insignificant of places helps members shift their view of the world.
@arxxxh - emobdies seflessness. This dedication and passion for their members is admirable and a trait we should all strive for.
@CoryIsHere - exemplifies growth. His transition through the months just shows that anyone can become exceptionally if they put the hard work into it. Cory is truly an inspiration for us all.