I could really use someone friendly to talk with (depression, mild ptsd, self-harm?)

I could really use someone friendly to talk with. I have been dealing with depression on and off since I was in my teens.

I have a lot of anger and resentment towards myself, and I have a tendency to self-harm by taking large amounts of medications both otc and prescription especially when I am really stressed.

One of my biggest concerns is that I take insanely large amounts of Tylenol everyday even though I know this is going to destroy my liver eventually. I don't know if I do this to intentionally harm myself? Or is it a compulsion? Addiction? Although I've never heard of anyone being addicted to Tyleno

I have also been experiencing mild symptoms of ptsd since the end of June of this year. In June I had emergency surgery and during surgery I aspirated I awoke in the ICU on a ventilator so I could not speak and they had to put my hands in restraints so that I wouldn't try to pull out the breathing tube. I was in there for two weeks and for those two weeks I was experiencing ICU psychosis but no one knew because I couldn't speak. I didn't learn that what I was experiencing was ICU psychosis until I was home from the hospital. It was a very traumatic experience for me and ever since then nothing feels the same as it did before and I just feel empty and lost.