Feeling frustrated

I have a situation I'm trying to work out and I'm having a hard time finding a good listener. I really need someone to talk to about this.

Firstly, I'm a nurse and I have Bipolar disorder. I have to have emergency surgery on my arm next week and could end up losing the function of my left hand. Of course that scares me, it would anyone.

After surgery I'm going to need a lot of help because I won't be able to use my left arm for a few weeks. my boyfriend lives out of town and he'll be taking care of me. I'm really uncomfortable with it but I don't have much of a choice. He's fine with it, he can't wait. For me it's a dignity thing. He's going to have to help with some pretty personal stuff and I'm uncomfortable with it.

Also being a nurse and taking care of others is what I do. I've never been on the other side before. I'm very very independant and do for myself. I don't ever ask anyone for anything.

I'm finding all this stress is really effecting my disorder. I'm starting to cycle and people are noticing. Usually I can put on my "game face" but I'm having a hard time doing this My boyfriend doesn't understand what's going on with me. I've tried to explain it all to him but I just don't feel he gets it