Feeling frustrated
I have a situation I'm trying to work out and I'm having a hard time finding a good listener. I really need someone to talk to about this.
Firstly, I'm a nurse and I have Bipolar disorder. I have to have emergency surgery on my arm next week and could end up losing the function of my left hand. Of course that scares me, it would anyone.
After surgery I'm going to need a lot of help because I won't be able to use my left arm for a few weeks. my boyfriend lives out of town and he'll be taking care of me. I'm really uncomfortable with it but I don't have much of a choice. He's fine with it, he can't wait. For me it's a dignity thing. He's going to have to help with some pretty personal stuff and I'm uncomfortable with it.
Also being a nurse and taking care of others is what I do. I've never been on the other side before. I'm very very independant and do for myself. I don't ever ask anyone for anything.
I'm finding all this stress is really effecting my disorder. I'm starting to cycle and people are noticing. Usually I can put on my "game face" but I'm having a hard time doing this My boyfriend doesn't understand what's going on with me. I've tried to explain it all to him but I just don't feel he gets it
I'm so sorry you're going through such tough times right now. I hope the surgery will gowell!
I can imagine what you mean about dignity and being taken care of. I'm studyingto be in a helping profession as well now and I can't imagine being on the receiving side of the things I'd do normally for clients. At the same time, it seems to me from what you said that your boyfriend is genuinely trying to help. I think it wouldn't be fair to him to take out your frustration on him. Easier said than done, I know.
Does he know about your Bipolar disorder? You said he doesn't get it. Does he know what it means to have this disorder? If not, do you think he'd be willing to educate himself a bit? Maybe it'd help him understand.
Good luck!