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Skits13
1,573 M Little Steps 6
PathStep 13 Compassion hearts116 Forum posts57 Forum upvotes34 Current upvotes34 Age GroupAdult Last activeDecember, 2015 Member sinceJuly 22, 2014
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Feeling frustrated
General Support / by Skits13
Last post
 October 22nd, 2014
...See more I have a situation I'm trying to work out and I'm having a hard time finding a good listener. I really need someone to talk to about this.   Firstly, I'm a nurse and I have Bipolar disorder. I have to have emergency surgery on my arm next week and could end up losing the function of my left hand. Of course that scares me, it would anyone. After surgery I'm going to need a lot of help because I won't be able to use my left arm for a few weeks. my boyfriend lives out of town and he'll be taking care of me. I'm really uncomfortable with it but I don't have much of a choice. He's fine with it, he can't wait.  For me it's a dignity thing. He's going to have to help with some pretty personal stuff and I'm uncomfortable with it.   Also being a nurse and taking care of others is what I do. I've never been on the other side before. I'm very very independant and do for myself. I don't ever ask anyone for anything.   I'm finding all this stress is really effecting my disorder. I'm starting to cycle and people are noticing. Usually I can put on my "game face" but I'm having a hard time doing this My boyfriend doesn't understand what's going on with me. I've tried to explain it all to him but I just don't feel he gets it
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Suicide...The other side
Safety & Knowledge at 7 Cups / by Skits13
Last post
 September 7th, 2014
...See more Hi Everyone. I had a profound experience yesterday that I thought appropriate to share in this forum.   A bit of a background. I have attempted suicide 9 times in my lifetime, 2 near fatal. I have Bipolar Disorder and my depressions get so bad I get hospitalized. Thankfully I haven't been that bad in over 3 years now. I put my family through hell with my attempts. Like a lot of suicidal people I just wanted it all to stop. I wanted to escape. There were times the pain was just so bad I felt it was my only option. The last time I attempted, it was very difficult on my 2 grown daughters. They never understood why I never felt they were worth living for. That sobered me up real quick and decided to put my 11% into recovery.  I'm not there yet and I do get ideation but haven't acted on it.   I have found that our minds like to play tricks on us. It tells you everything you want to hear but here's the problem, our mind is also trying to kill us. It gives us every reason in the world to think we are not worthy of a life. I've been down this road many times before.   The other day I got a call from a very old friend. She called to tell me her brother passed away. He committed suicide... I've tried to be as supportive as I possibly can to his family but struggling with my own feelings toward it all. I see a family in such pain and disbelief. His kids are 24, 21 and 14. They are absolutely devastated and is very painful to watch.   This really has triggered me. I have always felt terrible about what I put my family through but now I see it in a completely different light. I now see the other side of it. Something I never gave a second thought to. My friends brother coped the best way he knew how but in the process has unloaded such a burden onto his family. His children will forever be haunted by their father's actions. There will never be closure.  I never got it until now and just beside myself with grief for him, his family, my kids, my family and myself. I've already talked to one of my daughters this morning and apologized for everything I put her through. Next I will speak to my other daughter.   Again, this has been a profound experience for me. One that I certainly will never forget and on those really bad days when I've had all I can take, I'll take a little bit more because my daughters deserve better than that.
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Disclosure. To tell or not to tell
General Support / by Skits13
Last post
 September 21st, 2014
...See more Needing some opinions. I have had Bipolar Disorder for well over 20 years. I went a longtime undiagnosed. I also have PTSD. I have always been very careful who I disclose my illness to. I've been burned a few times. I'm in a fairly new relationship and everyone keeps asking the same question. "Well have you told him yet?"   So this is what I've done. He knows I'm being treated for PTSD, meds, therapy and a psychiatrist. He also knows I do get depressed every once in awhile. No I have not come right out and said I have Bipolar Disorder. He needs to get to know "me" first and yes I'll be honest, I'm afraid to tell him. He's a wonderful man who I don't think would judge me but I'm still afraid. Some say I just add to the stigma around mental illness. I don't like to think so but maybe I do.   For me what it boils down to is labels. As far as I'm concerned labels cause stigma. I can tell someone that I have problems with my moods and I take medication for it and most wouldn't give it a second thought but if I were to say I have Bipolar disorder, I'm instantly crazy because of that label   Why is that?    
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AMA Drug Benefits being cut
General Support / by Skits13
Last post
 August 22nd, 2014
...See more Hi, I've received notice that my drug benefits are being cut off. I take psych drugs and just one of them costs $399. All together my drugs per month are $500. The most expensive one really is working well for me and I'm afraid I'm going to lose it because of the expense. I live in Ontario what am I to do. At this point I feel I have no other choice but to go off all my medication. That could be disastrous, I have Bipolar disorder
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