Struggling to Understand My Feelings (Update from Last Post)
Hi! I hope you're doing well, whoever's reading. I posted a couple weeks ago about recently losing a friend that meant the world to me. He helped me feel like it's okay to just be vulnerable for the first time in a really long time. Anyway, after writing that post, I realized that maybe I had some romantic feelings for him that I lied to myself about not having. At least this is what I feel in my gut. I'm not sure what to do. If I got the chance again to catch up with him, is it wrong of me to tell him about these feelings? I really want to but I don't know if the right time has already passed. I didn't mention in my last post that he once said he had a crush on me, but it wasn't anything too big. He said he had gotten over it just a few weeks later and we were talking again like good old friends.
What would you do if you were in my shoes? We haven't spoken in a while and it was so brief that it broke my heart. He also mentioned he had been seeing someone so maybe it would be wrong for me to tell him about my crush if we do catch up again later on. Not sure what to do, but what I do know is that bottling up these feelings is going to be something I regret later on. I've always kept my feelings suppressed and to myself, with everyone I've liked, and it never leads to anything except regret. What should I do? :(
@peaceandblessings
it is hard when you have suppressed feelings we do end up with regret....
I did a plan of speaking up a little bit at a time and it becomes easier to do ....not just in romantic situations but telling others I appreciate them and like them in my life.
in regards to your feelings for friend... many may say if he is seeing someone else to let it go but i think most like to know how others feel and maybe a bit of him is not over it .... we NEVER know in silence or hoping they figure it out
i feel many issues people have anymore are from not speaking up and communicating clearly.
you’re right about that, tiger, miscommunication or lack of communication is definitely a huge factor in most people’s issues. i often have had trouble speaking up cause it’s just hard, specially when met with more difficulty after speaking up. but it only made me become avoidant and that’s not something i like, so as you’re doing, i’m also trying my best from now on to speak up just a little more. i actually wrote up a heartfelt message to send over to him, but i’m so hesitant. i don’t expect anything in return and i made that clear in my message.
update.. I confessed and i'm so heartbroken. I can't stop thinking of how different things could've turned out if I had spoken up when I was aware of my feelings. there's literally nobody else like him, and I know one day I might meet someone who makes me feel the same way but he's the only one who I had these particular experiences with. I will never meet someone the way I met him. I was at my lowest point when I met him, and I didn't believe he could like me but he did. The way we connected was really unique but it was really special. no one has made me feel as safe and comfortable as he does. he helped me become less numb and a lot more present. he helped me learn how to love myself more. he'll never know just how special he is to me, how much I really adore him, and how much I wish we could spend nights on the phone together again. there's nothing I can do right now but to move on, I might love him but he loves someone else.
@peaceandblessings
I know it does not feel like it Now having it out in open is better for you to move on....
Many people need to allow themselves to move on .... of course when you meet someone else it will be different / feel different and they too will help you grow and change as a person ..... that is why in the last few years when i come into contact with someone even for a short while I look at all as either a lesson or a blessing.......
so your friend came into your world and helped you at a low point .........helped you grow and develop they will always have a place in your heart for that .......... but they perhaps just prepared you for your next stage in life..... we often miss a chance for telling these people "thank you for helping me grow". and looking forward to the next chapter that they helped us prepare for.
