Frustrated
There is something about me that I cannot figure out, and it is frustrating. For some reason no one ever takes any of my concerns seriously. Instead, they either gaslight me or even punish me. The effects of such have caused me immense hardship, and I genuinely do not know what to do anymore.
I have gone through years of therapy to learn communication techniques. None of them work. I have changed myself, multiple times, to be the person they say is acceptable. That has never been good enough. I have read books and studied and it still does not change anything.
Yesterday, I asked … no, I begged … for someone to please tell me what it is about me that makes people do this. They did not know. I have asked this question numerous times within the last decade, and they never know. Although they are only one person, I feel like if someone could just tell me then it would be applicable overall.
This is a serious problem in that it has genuinely resulted in tremendous detriment in my life and those around me. More often than not, my concerns have ended up proving to be valid too, so I do not even have a track record of be overly worried or having invalid concerns. Could it be sexism and/or discrimination of some sort?
@HelloHereWeAre It sounds like you're in a really painful and confusing place, especially since you've put in so much effort to change, learn, and improve communication, but still feel unheard or invalidated. It must be incredibly frustrating to repeatedly ask for clarity and receive no helpful feedback, particularly when your concerns are valid and important. The sense of not knowing why this happens or what you could possibly do differently must be exhausting.
Do you find that this issue comes up more in certain types of relationships—like at work, with family, or in friendships? And how does it affect the way you express your needs now?
I was forced to quit my job which involves coworkers and community, so it does not happen at work. I do not make any income, and I have not made any income for three years now. As for other types of relationships, it pretty much happens with everyone. I do not know how to answer the question about how I communicate now, because I do not have any social life outside of my home any longer.
@HelloHereWeAre I hear you. Not having any income must be frustrating too on top of everything. It sounds easy to feel discouraged in your situation!
