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sunflowervibes8 July 12th

Hello💛


Since childhood, I've always felt that my role was to support my friends, to help them, and to make sure they have a good time. I would often entertain or please them in ways I thought they would like, usually putting my own needs aside.


Now, as an adult, I realize I'm no longer just the entertaining clown, but in my relationships, I still find myself in the role of supporter and helper. I’m not sure I know how to be a friend on different terms. I don’t feel like I have close friends that I meet with regularly, and kind of miss that. However I struggle to understand how to maintain those friendships. 


Can anyone relate to this?


Thank you 🌸

2
Moonpetal July 19th

I definitely can relate. Your description sounds like you could've written my life story in the friendship area. After reading what you wrote, I think that's why I'm having trouble too because I don't know how to be a friend without the supporter or helper role. I'm trying to step out of it but it has been a lonely ride. This makes me feel very sad because taking a step back made me realize that my friends seem to only call or want to chat when they need something.


I know that alot of it probably came from how I was raised with a narcissistic mother and a father who put up with it. Everything I did as a child was for someone else so it kind of makes sense. However, in the last few years, as I try to not be that person, I find myself very lonely.

aquaKitten4292 July 27th

Hello, How's it going? Yeah I get what you are saying . Women are encouraged to be supportive and motherly in society. Thats all wonderful. But sometimes you want someone to be supportive right back to you.

Its hard to know when somebodies available as an adult folks are busy. Can be frustrating. Sounds like a kind therapist would help you. Make sure you really like one another and feel safe and are getting wise counseling. What helped me also is find wonderful Christian friends like mother figures who will be supportive pray and give great advice. Hope we can chat on here 🙋🏻‍♀. Hi Buddy