Article: How to Stop "Obsessing" Over a Lost Friendship
"Friendship breakups aren’t easy. But reflecting on how the loss of a friendship has affected you, prioritizing self-care, and speaking with those you trust may help you overcome the loss.
A friendship breakup hurts, sometimes more than a romantic relationship ending. You may have drifted apart from your friend, had a falling out, or experienced a hurtful situation.
Many people constantly think about what went wrong or what they could have done differently. It’s natural to wonder about these things, but it sometimes becomes a frequent preoccupation with how much you miss your friend.
Reflecting on lost friendships is part of the healing process, but it becomes difficult to move forward if you “obsess” over it. Learning to stop overthinking about a friendship breakup can help you regain focus and look forward to the future with a new perspective.
How to move on after a friendship breakup
1. Talk with someone you trust
Licensed marriage and family therapist Angela Sitka, LMFT, suggests talking with someone you trust to help you stop overthinking about a lost friendship.
She explains that since people don’t always realize the void a friendship breakup can leave, it’s essential to “communicate your needs to others with an open invitation for your loved ones to step up and support you.”
Talking with a friend or family member can help you process what happened. You can vent to them and listen to their advice or feedback to help you feel better.
Consider talking with someone who isn’t a mutual friend of the person you’re talking about to avoid drama or unnecessary discomfort.
If you’re uncomfortable talking with someone in your life, a therapist can help. They’ll help you process the breakup and discover ways to move forward.
Sitka explains, “a skilled relationship therapist can help you find closure for yourself, and also give you insights to consider with future friendships.”
2. Make new habits and memories
When you’re close to someone, you might not have tried new things or stepped out of your comfort zone.
Without realizing it, friendships can hold you back as you become complacent. If that friendship ends, you can use it as an opportunity to create new habits and build new memories.
3. Take a social media break
According to a small 2022 Australian studyTrusted Source, excessive use of social media may lead to comparison, low self-esteem, and depression.
Consider taking a break from using social media for about 1 to 4 weeks. It might be hard, but avoiding social media can help you carve out time for activities you enjoy or focus on self-care.
You may also consider using your time away from social media to focus on your community or to help those in need. Oftentimes, helping others and spending time in our community can remind us that we’re not alone and provide a sense of connection.
The pain from a friendship breakup is real, and you’ll need time to heal. It’s sometimes worse than a romantic breakup or other loss, so try to not beat yourself up for having a hard time.
If you’re experiencing hardships in the midst of losing a friend, you’re not alone. The following tips may help you cope with the loss:
- speak with a person you trust
- put your well-being first
- reach out to mental health professional
- create new memories and habits
- set boundaries on social media
- openly communicating to find a resolution
These tips can help you move on from a friendship breakup and find happiness again. You can find other friends and experience joy in new experiences. Stay hopeful, and you’ll find friends who love and support you."
@fruityPond7887
I lost my friendship of probably about 7 years since this past March after a mental and suicidal crisis, which led me into a recovery program and other support groups, and eventually therapy. It was my mistake for lashing out. They never said anything and proceeded to cut me off and block me everywhere we've been together on. I haven't grieved harder than this. We used to hang out everyday online. We never had a situation like this before, so it was heartbreaking that they could easily discard me because I wasn't okay. Even until today, I'm still recovering from it. But the pain is becoming a bit smaller now. I still haven't been back into drawing or gaming. But I've been doing some writing and watching films/shows to help cope with this void I have left in me.
I don't know, but ever since I came back here, I ended up making more friends even though I'll never know what they are like behind the screen. I still have some friends, especially close ones in real life I can still talk to, along with my significant other, who is been there for me through thick and thin. I was struggling to find my worth and whether I deserved a second chance during the first few weeks of my recovery. But until now, I was able to pick myself up again one day at a time. I didn't want my problems to define me. I've been able to focus on the things that I'm grateful for, what I can still do for myself, and try to be more in the present than succumbing myself into my worries about the past and future. I've also been spending more time here, because I wanted this to be the place I can go to where I can feel safe. So I'm really grateful to be here.