Navigating Friendship and Solitude: A Personal Reflection

Hello everyone,

I wanted to share some reflections drawn from my experiences with friendship and solitude, as I believe this is a topic many of us can relate to.

Growing up, I felt immense pressure to conform to societal expectations regarding friendships. The idea that being alone was shameful was deeply ingrained in me through school and media. I often found myself left out, never invited to birthday parties, outings, or sleepovers. I can still recall my classmates sharing stories about their fun weekends while I sat alone, feeling foolish. It seemed that having friends equated to worth, and I felt the sting of failing to maintain any connections.


From an early age, I tried my best to integrate into social circles but often felt awkward and out of place. This led to a sense of never quite fitting in. Two particular years in school stand out in my memory. When I switched schools, I entered with high hopes, determined to make friends. I had been told that my shyness was the reason for my lack of friends, so I resolved to approach people and hide my insecurities.

However, despite my efforts, I faced rejection, indifference, and even mockery. Not a single person in my class was friendly toward me. I remember sitting at lunch, where the tables were full of laughter and chatter, but I was on the outside looking in. This painful experience crushed my hopes of forming connections, leading me to retreat into my own space. I began to believe that people didn’t like me because I was worthless.


In my second year at the same school, I decided to keep to myself, accepting that friendship might not be in the cards for me. Ironically, this decision led to an unexpected change. To my surprise, I began forming friendships effortlessly. That year turned out to be one of the most socially fulfilling of my life. I connected with classmates from the very first days and made more friends than ever before, without much effort at all.

What struck me as remarkable was that I hadn’t changed as a person during those few months. The difference lay in the people around me—they were friendly and open to building connections. This experience taught me a crucial lesson: relationships are two-sided. It’s not just about us; it’s also about the person in front of us. This realization helped me shift my perspective on friendships and social dynamics.


Reflecting on my experiences, I’ve come to realize that finding individuals who genuinely care about true friendship—beyond mere socializing or gossiping—is quite rare. I’ve naturally formed friendships with only a few people without much effort. Sometimes I initiated the connection, while other times, they reached out to me. It’s important to recognize that building connections is a mutual experience. It’s not solely my responsibility to reach out; others must also invest effort. The friends I have made were genuinely kind and interested in me and in building a friendship.

Growing up, I was often told the issue was with me, leaving me unable to imagine anything different. Today, while many may see me as isolated, I no longer feel lonely. My family, pets, and a few friends—who live in different cities and countries, making it rare for us to see one another—provide immense support and connection. Even the neighborhood cats I greet every morning and the birds singing outside my window remind me that I am surrounded by life. I am not alone.


Thinking back on my childhood and teenage years, I realize I was lovable. I didn’t fit in for various reasons, including untreated health issues, but had I encountered the right people, I could have formed friendships effortlessly. It was not about me or my worth, despite what everyone said.

Thank you for taking the time to read my reflection. I would love to hear your thoughts or experiences on this topic, and if you are feeling lonely, I’m sending you all my love and support 🫶