I used the enneagram to finally figure out what went wrong!

Okay, so I basically have a best friend who I have come to realize over the past few years is VERY different from me. Since we both seem to be creative, passionate, and eccentric types, I had assumed she must think and feel just like me- so when I continued to come away from our hangouts feeling anxious and frustrated, I couldn't figure it out. 

Our last hangout in early December before she ghosted me went like this: I was in my feels, nostalgic ipod songs playing in my ears as I walked alone through the woods that morning- I walked for hours. I found an abandoned photograph in the woods and was enthralled at the art and mystery of it. I drove to pick her up from her house at noon to take her to her therapy and that felt good- to do something so meaningful for her. We sung along with songs I deeply related to on the way there. I sat and sketched the mysterious photograph in my sketchbook while she got her therapy. I was feeling pretty good and satisfied so far. Then, she wanted to go shopping- she always wanted to go shopping. I agreed and wondered why she was so uninterested in the abandoned photograph. I didn't understand why she was talking about the pink scrunchie she wanted to get for her friend. I didn't understand how she didn't want to talk about the trauma I had helped her through the other week or how the therapy session had just went. It was like she was pretending none of her problems had ever happened and I was confused- as I usually was. We shopped at a makeup shop and then visited a cookie shop and then a perfume shop and then a book shop and then she wanted me to drive her to some crafts stores so she could make more gifts for her friends and I just imploded. I needed realness, I needed pain, I needed something more than glittery optimism and consumerism and distraction. I tried to explain how dystopian the world suddenly seemed to me, but of course she didn't get it- she was confused, but she just rolled with it. She tried to make a point about how she understood me in the car, but she vastly oversimplified and misunderstood me instead all the while trying to keep the mood light with music. I hated how I had failed her and how she had made me feel- because she means so much to me I can hardly stand it- so after a week of no texts from her, I thought maybe I could fix things by being more assertive about what I wanted- I don't like shopping, but I like museums and cafes and galleries and parks. I felt selfish and dumb asserting myself, but I felt like it needed to be done, because I felt like it was obvious that she didn't actually understand my needs as well as she thought she did. She hasn't responded since. This whole incident has been causing my mental health to take an absolute nose dive- it was the whole reason I felt the need to try 7cups in the first place. 

But, recently I've been exploring the enneagram. I liked exploring mbti when I was younger and found it helpful, so I decided to try this too- and somehow found the enneagram to be more painfully accurate and insightful than mbti. I typed myself as a 4w5. Then, tonight, I realized that my friend is not actually another type 4, like me, but a type 7w6. As a type 4, I revel in the deep and dramatic. I don't fill the hole inside me, but rather I flaunt it as part of something that makes me unique. 7s, on the other hand, RUN from pain. They get anxious about having to dig down deep and would much rather escape into distraction and optimism and materialism. Instead of glorifying the hole inside them, 7s do the opposite of 4s- they try to stuff it with bright shiny things. They never want to feel bored or in want. So, while I can't help but ruminate, she can't help but run away. I had previously been trying to use enneagram to make sense of her, but holy CRAP, this is ridiculously accurate. 

As I learn more about 4s and 7s, I hope to then gain insight into how to better make it work when we are obviously both stressed out. She didn't choose to have the opposite coping mechanism from me and I can't let myself judge her so harshly. I've also got to realize that my obsession with the deep and dark all the time isn't the best coping mechanism either. I desperately want to find a middle ground for us so that we can both be healthy together. 

I wish I hadn't sent her that text explaining what my likes and dislikes are, because now I think she took it as a rejection of her. I wish I had instead waited until today and then sent her a text eager to share insights I had about how I understood her in new ways. 

Anyways, have any of your tried to use mbti and/or enneagram to better understand yourself and the ones you love?