Does anyone have a friend like this?
My best friend finally texted me back after about a month of silence. I have been falling apart without her support, analzying our friendship history and personalities and our last hangout and my last texts- like literally, she has been every other thought in my head. Thinking about her has kept me up at night, made me breakdown, drove me to drink more- part of the reason I am back on meds and in therapy and so active on 7cups is because she means so much to me and then pulls this *** that leaves me reeling and desperate. And I was expecting a text from her that would at least be an apology or some hint as to why she went ghost or asking how I was doing...but it was just this short thing with cute emojis saying 'wow! i didn't realize it's been so long since we talked. I've been in my own little world lol miss youuuuu'
So, she's been off in her world, not giving me a thought while I have been tearing myself apart grieving about her and our relationship almost every day?? Maybe she's ashamed about not contacting me, or she has thought of me this past month but doesn't want to talk about it because she only wants to move on to happy things but I AM FUMING.
There's a part of me that wants to be understanding and forgive her like I always do when she ghosts me (and she ghosts me at least 3 times a year) but this time she caused me SO MUCH PAIN. And she thinks she can just brush it under the rug with some cute emojis??
I know it's petty, but I cannot respond to her because I can't seem to calm down. Has anyone else experienced something like this??
@determinedSea4370
Yes i think many have that the "friendship" is just on their whims. they need a person to do something with them or more often For them i get texts saying "we should catch up " ... Or "omg, how long has it been" .
you just want to tell them IDK check you phone and see ..... you seem more invested in friendship than they are. I decided i did not want to be the on call friend only when it worked for them and moved on.
@toughTiger6481 Thank you. It's good to know people have gone through similiar things. I would move on if doing so didn't leave me completely without friends. I've been trying for the past 10 years to make new friends, but I can't. Like, she's my only childhood friend left and my only hope for socialization. It's not healthy how much power she holds over me, but I can only hope to help our friendship evolve into something healthier, because I can't let go without destroying myself.
@determinedSea4370 That sounds so hard 😢
Can I ask why are you thinking so much of her? Because you miss her or are you ruminating on bad things that happened and stuff?
Have you told her in the past how much this absence makes you anxious and hurt?
I think there are some people who need their time, and sometimes they end up shutting all down and staying without contact some days to rest as some coping mechanism or whatsoever. Maybe it is the case wth your friend. I understand that, but if that leaves the other with no contact at all and anxious, its a bad friend. Please try to talk it out! And get to an agreement.
I had a similar situation, but it was me 😭. I did it more frecuently but way shorter, 3 to 4 days. Its a bad habit but in my case I compromised to at least message "ill answer later." And thats good enough to not upset the other at least. Its funny cause a time when I was not answered some days, I then understood how it upsets the other.
Take care
