How to deal with toxic family
Hello there!! Tbh i don't even know if my family is super toxic but I feel like they may show some toxic traits which stresses me out. Like a while ago, i couldn't find the toothpaste since I need to brush my teeth and i asked them. Nobody answered except my sister whose reply didn't help at all. She just said "Find it". The crazy part is that o have unfriended her in *** and found out about it and sent me a friend request. She told me that us not being FB friends make it look like she's not my sibling. I was hesitant at first but i did it anyways. Now o regret doing it because she's always the type to disrespect me. I got insecure of the way I looked because she kept telling me I'm a skeleton when i was thin and mentioned i got fatter during the pandemic.
She has always been like this no doubt. But she's nothing compared to my mother. Who called me a loser once or twice when i was just taking a break from doing household chores. I forgot what else my mom was telling but the word loser stuck with me. I want to stand up, and i guess in a way i did retaliate in the most toxic manner towards them when i was a teenager. But right now, i couldn't stand up. They're not the type to listen.
I tried searching for answers in the internet but most of them (including the whole establishing boundaries) require communication towards my family. I don't even know how to communicate with them if they're not the type to listen.
@rod123
Very little in life IMO can be solved without communication this situation included ...... I think many avoid communication with family because they picture confrontation.
In family situations sometimes people do not take into consideration how things will be taken like they would in talking to someone else....
while they seem dismissive and perhaps not aware of your feelings it is how you deal with it...... sisters IMO mentioning weight sounds jealous or trying to annoy you........ you should unfriend anyone you chose and her reasoning to be your friend on social media seem a bit thin on reasoning.
sometimes people (even parents) say something in a moment .... my sister was famous for taking "breaks " when we were doing big chores or projects and many comments were made.........
would i call that toxic nope but maybe not nice ...............
but if you do not tell them how they make you feel and communicate they may assume it is not a big deal.....
write a letter if easier ........use phrases like....... i feel ........ or this is how i see it ..........less accusing and in order to be heard it is important they do not feel on the defensive
you sharing this story makes me feel how my family treats me. Like always looking down on me and constantly telling me that I am only around when I want someone which makes me realize how they view me and not my value to this family and it hurts since I am the back sheep of the family that doesn’t see things in their way. But having a family who makes you feel like you should be in therapy is just comes to show that they are really toxic in your life.