Feeling uneasy after my parents arguing
On my other forum, I mentioned that my parents got into if bad about a week ago.
Tw: Suicide + Self-harm
Back to the last arguement, my mom mentioned taking herself out because she was done with my dad's control and crap. She said she just wanted to be with her parents (both are deceased). My grandparents (from my dad's side) came over to resolve it. It has been almost a week now.
We went Christmas shopping this week and she mentioned that she put the life insurance under my name. She said if anything happens then it'll go to me out of my siblings (who are all younger). Something about that made me uneasy. It's getting closer to my grandpa's (mom's dad) deaths anniversary, which he committed suicide. He committed suicide in the first week of January and on New Year's told everyone that it was going to be a good year.
Should I confront and ask my mom?
I'm scared and I know that if she's gone, I'd need to care for my younger siblings. I don't want to conflict my brother who's 2 years younger because he's already struggling with school and has depression due to my parents' old fashion ways. I know for a fact that my dad won't care as much for us and do his own thing. He doesn't even knows what my siblings and I like.
@SweetSugarBoost
have you spoken to her and opened up .... many a person is just thinking of pain and what they think will be the end of that pain......
maybe discuss with her how important she is to you and siblings and how damaged her kids could be as you suspect she was damaged by your grandfathers taking his life ....... maybe showing her the damage and havoc that causes and the cycle could continue ...................... will at the very least buy you time....... or better yet encourage her to seek help
I haven't spoke to her about it yet. During their argument, I remember telling her that I can't take care of my siblings by myself and that we really needed her. It's kind of hard to express directly how much she means to us because she is old fashion and isn't as emotionally open. I'll try to figure something.
@SweetSugarBoost
A couple resources for having conversations about stuff like this:
https://www.nami.org/Blogs/NAMI-Blog/September-2019/How-to-Ask-Someone-About-Suicide
@SweetSugarBoost
That sounds really scary. It's a terrible position to be put in as a child. Although many fear that asking someone if they're suicidal or talking about what's actually going on can make things worse, there's absolutely no evidence for that.
When people I love have been suicidal, I've tried to ask them about it as directly as I can. That's been very difficult and scary, but seemed to be a relief for them and a way past the shame they felt for even feeling that way. In my experience, intimate and honest connection goes a long way.
Of course, you are her child so that's a tall order. I've found it impossible to get through issues like this without plenty of emotional support. I'm glad you're participating in this community.
988 is the new number for the national Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, and it's there to support the loved ones of those struggling with suicidality, not just those who have those feelings. There are also support groups, hotlines, and other warmlines that provide anonymous and confidential places to talk and share support.