@easyRaspberries164
Thank you for your amazing post! Truly the things you speak of are real, these things happen and you are not alone.
Feeling as if someone is doing things for attention seeking that utimately will not turn out well for them is truly frustrating. I understand that as care givers, we really invest so very much in others. We do it because we care, we have empathy and we have compassion. We have a vested interest in helping to propel others towards success. It can make us feel angry, sad, dissapointed and maybe even feel as if all of our good work, time and efforts have been wasted from time to time. Yes, it can be very frustrating.
And also the situation of sharing your wealth of knowledge, sharing your time, treasures and talents simply to be ignored is an awful feeling. Sometimes the "I'm working hard, why aren't you? I care about you, why aren't you caring for yourself in this way"?
I agree with @fearlessNickel4472 that perhaps it could be good to take a step back. Engage in some self care. Have the chance to make you, important to you. Sometimes taking a step away, taking deep breaths, taking care of ourselves, really thinking about the situation in a new light while not actively engaging with the person that is behaving this way, can be really beneficial.
It seems to me it gives us a chance to really put it all into perspective and even determine if this has become a cycle of behavior.
I will share with you that I have recently gone through a similiar situation. I think it's okay that I do so as long as me sharing is in an effort to be helpful as well as have what I call a "hero" story behind it. (that maybe it's working out now) I went through the same thing. I noticed I was feeling frustrated, so I had to take a step away from the situation, I engaged in self care and told myself I was letting myself "off the hook" for at least two days, now was not the time to be overly helpful and that in the course of two days, just let it be. The time was great. And I did a lot of meta cognition (thinking about what it is that I am thinking about). What I came up with was putting things in a new light. I thought, gee, how dare I be so ego cyntristic to think that I have the power to move mountains. That each person has free will, they have a choice. And sometimes it's okay to step back and watch people fail, no matter how painful it can be for someone that cares for them deeply. People need to learn and have consequences for their behaviors. We care, so we try to save them from those things. And maybe that is the problem all along. That someone hasn't had the chance to recieve what I call "natural consequences"
An example would be asking a child to bring their bike inside lest it be stolen or rust in the rain. If they don't listen and things go badly, you give them big hugs and tell them you can understand how badly they are hurting. And you don't rush to go buy them a new one. Sometimes people need to sit in it, and understand that if you choose the behaviors, then you choose the consequences. Part of life, part of learning and we can't crawl in someone elses skin and live a life for them.
After all of that, I sat down with this person and had a long and really helpful chat with them. I simply explained a little about about what it felt like to be me and how much I care and how hard I was working on their behalf. I also let them know that it's time for me to take a step back. Let them make some choices of their own and that if they choose unwisely, they would have to be the one to suffer the consequences for it and not me any longer. I let them know I care and if things go poorly of course I will always be their emotionally to support them.
For me, I am absolved now. The ball is in their court and we shall see how far they run with that ball.
I send you big *hugs* and I'm really hoping that somehow my post/sharing with you was somehow helpful!