Fustration and lmpatience
How do you deal with fustration, impatience and even anger sometimes with the person you are caring for because you feel they put themselves in the situation their in for attention?
@easyRaspberries164
Thank you for your amazing post! 
Truly the things you speak of are real, these things happen and you are not alone.
Feeling as if someone is doing things for attention seeking that utimately will not turn out well for them is truly frustrating. I understand that as care givers, we really invest so very much in others. We do it because we care, we have empathy and we have compassion. We have a vested interest in helping to propel others towards success. It can make us feel angry, sad, dissapointed and maybe even feel as if all of our good work, time and efforts have been wasted from time to time. Yes, it can be very frustrating.
And also the situation of sharing your wealth of knowledge, sharing your time, treasures and talents simply to be ignored is an awful feeling. Sometimes the "I'm working hard, why aren't you? I care about you, why aren't you caring for yourself in this way"?
I agree with @fearlessNickel4472 that perhaps it could be good to take a step back. Engage in some self care. Have the chance to make you, important to you. Sometimes taking a step away, taking deep breaths, taking care of ourselves, really thinking about the situation in a new light while not actively engaging with the person that is behaving this way, can be really beneficial.
It seems to me it gives us a chance to really put it all into perspective and even determine if this has become a cycle of behavior.
I will share with you that I have recently gone through a similiar situation. I think it's okay that I do so as long as me sharing is in an effort to be helpful as well as have what I call a "hero" story behind it. (that maybe it's working out now) I went through the same thing. I noticed I was feeling frustrated, so I had to take a step away from the situation, I engaged in self care and told myself I was letting myself "off the hook" for at least two days, now was not the time to be overly helpful and that in the course of two days, just let it be. The time was great. And I did a lot of meta cognition (thinking about what it is that I am thinking about). What I came up with was putting things in a new light. I thought, gee, how dare I be so ego cyntristic to think that I have the power to move mountains. That each person has free will, they have a choice. And sometimes it's okay to step back and watch people fail, no matter how painful it can be for someone that cares for them deeply. People need to learn and have consequences for their behaviors. We care, so we try to save them from those things. And maybe that is the problem all along. That someone hasn't had the chance to recieve what I call "natural consequences"
An example would be asking a child to bring their bike inside lest it be stolen or rust in the rain. If they don't listen and things go badly, you give them big hugs and tell them you can understand how badly they are hurting. And you don't rush to go buy them a new one. Sometimes people need to sit in it, and understand that if you choose the behaviors, then you choose the consequences. Part of life, part of learning and we can't crawl in someone elses skin and live a life for them.
After all of that, I sat down with this person and had a long and really helpful chat with them. I simply explained a little about about what it felt like to be me and how much I care and how hard I was working on their behalf. I also let them know that it's time for me to take a step back. Let them make some choices of their own and that if they choose unwisely, they would have to be the one to suffer the consequences for it and not me any longer. I let them know I care and if things go poorly of course I will always be their emotionally to support them.
For me, I am absolved now. The ball is in their court and we shall see how far they run with that ball.
I send you big *hugs* and I'm really hoping that somehow my post/sharing with you was somehow helpful! 
@fearlessNickel4472
I send you big *hugs* and positive *beams* as well you wonderful Nickel! I imagine the person you care for has a hard time thanking you for all that you do. I will take the opportunity to do it on their behalf right now, here with you! Thank you for caring for another human being, thank you for giving of yourself and so freely! *high fives*
@easyRaspberries164
Thank you for your reply my friend! Luckily I got a broad notification but not a specific one as in that you had replied to me spefically. To tag me in the forum area feel free to use my full screen name @SparkyGizmo lest I never see that you had replied to me if you ever want to reply. If I click on "unsubscribe" at the top, I would never know that you had replied unless my full screen name was used. (just trying to help the cause) @Sparkles wont' reach me at all.
I agree, these situations can turn into feeling as if we are being bullied, undervalued, unappreciated, and emotionally being held hostage. Lots of things that really just don't feel very rewarding, huh? In an effort to be even more helpful, have you considered reaching out to a trained active listener at this point? Sometimes it can feel really great to connect to another human being, 1 on 1 and to have our own private space and time with someone who cares.
If you like, you could go to the "browse listeners" page (top, drop down tab on your dashboard) and review all of the listeners and see if there is someone that you feel as if you have a commonality with and someone that "speaks" to you by reading their profile page, their lived experiences (on the right hand side top), and also maybe their positive written reviews (scrolling down, bottom left) to see what other members have had to say about the listener. You can do an advanced search for certain topics when going to the browse listener page and I don't recall it having a "care giver" for lived experiences but people who have selected "parenting" as a lived experiences, well of course this is someone that truly has been or is in the role of caregiver as well.
Again, hoping I was helpful. I send you big *hugs* Stay strong and it seems as if the person you are caring for has a hard time saying thank you and so I will thank you today! Thank you for trying so hard! Thank you for caring for another person and so self lessly. I understand, I know it's not easy! I'm sending you postive *beams* today!
@easyRaspberries164
You are most welcome my friend! In addition, we all had to be new here on this site at one point and I'm the first one to understand it is a really big place, lots to learn and lots to navigate! You are not alone! If you ever have any questions how to navigate the site, maximize your time here, feel free to tag me here. I will be the first to admit, I haven't figured everthing out and I too learn new things each and every day around this place.
If you tag me here and I know the answer, yippie! I will feel great about myself that I was able to help another (it's my purpose for being here, to help to the best of my abilities). If I don't know the answer, I will be the first one to admit it and I'll try to tag someone else that is much more knowledeable in that area, that way, you and I can learn together! I love teachable moments! My mantra: learn, help, learn, help, wash, rinse and repeat! Indeed, you are not alone here and we are all in it together! big *hugs*
@considerateCircle7104
I am here to lend my support to you as well! I send you *hugs* and words of thanks and appreciation for being a kind human being that is trying their very best to help another! I know the days can be long, hard and frustrating many times.
It sounds really great that you are starting to set some healthy boundaries and have found a nook to go to, a safe and private area to collect your thoughts and recharge. Everyone deserves their private space and private time! Self care is so very important to the process and it's not being selfish at all. It is hard to fill up the cup of another if your own "well" has completely run dry.
Are there other things you like to do for self care? Even the smallest of things are monumental for me. A hot bath when others are asleep or I'm not needed at the moment because they are engaged in another activity. Lighting a richly scented candle to create a ritual and signal to myself that I can sit and relax a bit. Relaxing on the sofa with a big fluffy warm blanket and pillows behind my head that just feel really "gushy" lol while reading a few pages from a book. I try to make the smallest of things truly monumental and express my gratitude for those moments. I'm lucky that I have a dog and I cuddle with them on the sofa also when I have those peaceful moments.
Cooking is a big hobby for me because I know it's something I must do, so I turned it into a want to do and not a have to do and now feel so much joy in it. I've been quite accomplished in that area actually so it's something I have just for me that is rewarding and makes me feel good about myself but also a way for me to show love to others in my life. Simply the smile on their faces is their way of showing appreciation for my labor of love and they don't even have to say a word.
It sounds as if also that over time fewer and fewer people want to come around and engage at your home. I can imagine it's hard for you to leave the home but I'm hoping you can counter act this and not feel completely isolated. 7 cups truly is a very big place with lots of opportunites to interact with others, reaching out to listeners, engaging in the member rooms for support, sharing circles and joining sub-communities and also the amazing forum area!
Again, big *hugs* and *high fives* for trying to help others along. It's okay to be human and yes, you have a right to your feelings my friend!
