Elderly Parent

@Lifer You are being a very loving child. This is undoubtedly really hard on you. You have actual choices, whereas your mom has pretty much none. The forces of nature and what is practical for the family will win out one way or another. Of course your mom wants to stay at home. Of course your mom wants to be closer to you. A “compromise” will be forced on your mom. This isn’t the product of an aging mind so much as it is difficult to leave a part of yourself behind - your mom won’t be leaving a building, but a part of herself. Yes it puts you in a tough position, but you will make it work because you’re doing your very best for your mom.

@Lifer

It's evident that you've been facing a challenging situation, balancing your own life while providing support to your mom. Caring for a loved one can be emotionally and physically demanding. It might be beneficial to have an open and honest conversation with your mom about her needs, concerns, and possible options. Exploring assisted living facilities or home care services near your location might be a way to keep her close while also ensuring she receives the support she needs. Remember to also take care of yourself during this process and seek assistance from support groups or professional caregivers if necessary. It's essential to find a balance that benefits both you and your mom's well-being.

@Lifer

Considering her current situation and her desire to be closer to you, it might be beneficial to explore various options. While the ideal scenario of her staying in her house and being closer to you might seem challenging, it's worth investigating potential solutions

@Lifer

You are incredibly brave for this. Please reach out to me or other listeners here if you need support

@Lifer

Thank you for sharing that with me. It sounds like a difficult and complex situation. As someone who supported and cared for my own mother, I can understand the emotions and stresses that you must be going through.

One approach you could take is to first validate your mother's feelings and concerns. You could say something like, "Mom, I know that moving can feel scary and overwhelming. I understand that you want to stay in your own home. I want you to know that I love you and I'm here to support you no matter what decision you make."

Then, you could explore options with her that might help her feel more comfortable and supported. Would having a caregiver or support worker come to her house be an option? Are there social services or community resources in her area that could help her stay in her home?

If moving closer to you is the best option for her, you could start by emphasizing the positive aspects of such a move. You could remind her of how much more time and support you would be able to provide, and how much you would love to have her close by.

Ultimately, the key is to work together with your mother to find a solution that meets her needs and makes her happy. It may not be the solution either of you initially imagined, but it is important to find a compromise that both of you can live with.

@Lifer I think all good advice has already been given. I just want to say that I feel for you. I was a caretaker for my dad until he passed away, and it’s so hard. And living so far away has to add so much to the difficulty—both in logistics and emotions. All I can say is that I got through it with a lot of support, from my therapist and my friends. I hope you can find the support you need, come up with a solution, and know that everything comes from a deep love for your mama!

Hello how are doing?