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Self care for the caregiver
by delightfulUnicorn38
Last post
 Friday
...See more    The caregiver is a person who takes a duty to support someone by doing common tasks like  daily help in nutrition, cleaning, physical moving,  taking responsibility of managing the health care of the supported relative, Handle finances and other legal matters; and  Being a companion. the act of providing at-home care for a relative for the long term can bring stress or lead to burnout, especially when the caregiver lacks training and support . self-care can reduce the stress  and avoid burnout  by setting boundaries, joining to support group, getting trained, taking time for own wellness, practicing self-compassion .
Empowering Caregivers
by PeaceLoveandPaws
Last post
 November 11th
...See more While caring for a loved one can be very rewarding, it also involves many stressors. And since caregiving is often a long-term challenge, the emotional impact can snowball over time. If the stress of caregiving is left unchecked, it can take a toll on your health, relationships, and state of mind—eventually leading to burnout, a state of emotional, mental, and physical exhaustion. That’s why taking care of yourself isn’t a luxury, it’s a necessity. Feeling powerless is the number one contributor to burnout and depression. And it’s an easy trap to fall into as a caregiver. But no matter the situation, you aren’t powerless. This is especially true when it comes to your state of mind. You can’t always get the extra time, money, or physical assistance you’d like, but you can always get more happiness and hope through empowerment. * Practice acceptance. When faced with the unfairness of a loved one’s illness or the burden of caregiving, there’s often a need to make sense of the situation and ask “Why?” But you can spend a tremendous amount of energy dwelling on things you can’t change and for which there are no clear answers. * Focus on the things you can control. You can’t wish for more hours in the day or force your brother to help out more. Rather than stressing out over things you can’t control, focus on how you choose to react to problems. * Celebrate the small victories. If you start to feel discouraged, remind yourself that all your efforts matter. You don’t have to cure your loved one’s illness to make a difference. Don’t underestimate the importance of making your loved one feel more safe, comfortable, and loved! *Applaud your own efforts. Find ways to acknowledge and reward yourself. Remind yourself of how much you are helping. If you need something more concrete, try making a list of all the ways your caregiving is making a difference. (Source: Caregiver Stress and Burnout - HelpGuide.org: www.helpguide.org/articles/stress/caregiver-stress-and-burnout.htm#:~:text=%20Avoid%20caregiver%20burnout%20by%20feeling%20empowered%20,to%20feel%20discouraged%2C%20remind%20yourself%20that...%20More%20 [http://www.helpguide.org/articles/stress/caregiver-stress-and-burnout.htm#:~:text=%20Avoid%20caregiver%20burnout%20by%20feeling%20empowered%20,to%20feel%20discouraged%2C%20remind%20yourself%20that...%20More%20]) What are some signs of caregiver burnout? What small victory have you acomplished today? Please share your story! Why might acceptance be helpful in a caregiver's journey? Don’t forget to join the Family and Caregivers community taglist to join in the fun and games. Click HERE [https://www.7cups.com/forum/FamilyCaregiverSupport_191/WelcomesIntroductionsIcebreakersGames_310/NewTaglistFamilyCaregiversSubCommunity_229656/] Learn about opportunities to join our leadership team and check out our help-wanted post H [https://www.7cups.com/forum/FamilyCaregiverSupport_191/FamilyandCaregiversLeadershipTeam_1735/HelpWantedforFamilyCaregivers_228061]ERE [https://www.7cups.com/forum/FamilyCaregiverSupport_191/FamilyandCaregiversLeadershipTeam_1735/HelpWantedforFamilyCaregivers_228061/]
Hugs to All Caregivers
by persistentBlackberry6457
Last post
 November 7th
...See more To all of you who feel burned out, underappreciated, like you’re carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders- I hear you and so do so many others. Thank you- now go and give yourself a treat, do something you love. Give yourself the care that you give others. Best wishes!
Appreciating Caregivers
by Hope
Last post
 October 31st
...See more Hi everyone! I hope you are well. Being a caregiver can be quite an underappreciated role. Sometimes there is no income, other times it pays less, but regardless of what kind of role you are in, caregiving can feel like a thankless job. If you are a caregiver or have worked with one. What do you think is the best way to acknowledge and apprciate the efforts of a caregiver?
Caretaker Burn Out
by Patriot
Last post
 September 30th
...See more I'm just so spent.  My husband and I have been taking care of my 90 year old mother for the past 4 years.  We've not had a vacation or a weekend away for 4 years. My husband is retired and I still work, so he takes care of Mom during the day and I take over when I get home from work and on the weekends.   Prior to my mom's illness (osteoarthritis-unable to move around unassisted but can still walk) we were very close. We enjoyed each other's company and had fun together. Since she became ill, I've seen a very different side to her. She's overly dramatic with her symptoms, demanding, unreasonable and mean.  She was tested for dementia and the results were she just has age related memory issues but not dementia. It's her attitude that has gotten me so down. She used to be fun, we (my husband and I) loved taking her places, taking her on trips with us, dinners etc... But now she is a bitter, ugly old woman who finds fault with all we do for her. If I clean her bathroom, she'll point out small specks I may have missed, we buy her good quality food, she won't eat it (we've wasted so much money on food for her that she says she likes, then won't eat), complains she wants socks, when we buy her socks she finds fault and won't wear them, the same with shoes & slippers. The list goes on and on.  Both my husband and I are just mentally exhausted. We have no help (can't afford Visiting Angels and we have no family nearby). We can't go anywhere to get away from her.  The only time we get a break is when she is sleeping.   I'm tired all the time, depressed, no motivation and feel hopeless.  My husband, while being a great support, feels the same. No energy, no motivation to do anything. We both feel like we're being held hostage by an ungrateful shrew who is determined to make us feel as miserable as she is and she is succeeding.  She cannot afford to go into a nursing home and my husband is old school and feels since we're her only family (both my brothers have passed in the last 10 years and my father passed 22 years ago) we need to keep her at home as long as we can.  Her doctors are not much help. They just want to put her on antidepressants (she refuses to take them).  Aside from that, they just take her temp, do her labs and send her out the door until next year.  I just needed to vent.  I never anticipated this happening to a woman who was so full of life and had such a great outlook. I also never anticipated how miserable and defeated I would end up feeling at this stage in my life. I see no hope for the future. 
Supporting your caregiver friend
by Hope
Last post
 September 2nd
...See more Hi everyone! Caregiving is hard to say the least but unless we are in that role, its hard to figure out how to support a caregiver especially as caregivers sometimes struggle with asking for their needs to be met.  * Listen to them share their struggles, highs and lows.  * Offer practical help: Can you pick up groceries, run errands, or watch their loved one for an hour? Time is their most precious currency. * Be mindful of their schedule and limitations when planning activities.  * Sometimes they need space, sometimes they crave company. Communicate Remember, even small gestures can make a big difference.  Let's share more tips in the comments! How do you support your caregiver friends?
Bipolar spouse
by ambitiousNectarine1515
Last post
 August 30th
...See more My husband is bipolar im trying desperately to find someone in the same position to talk to
Sole earner for wife with chronic illness
by B26354
Last post
 May 28th
...See more Well, the loneliness and running out of friends has sent me here. Short version: for over a decade I have been the sole earner for a wife who has a chronic illness (ME). Despite a half-decent income, her lack of income and benefits means we just keep our heads above water but with no money to holiday, do nice things, go out, and make significant home improvements. In fact, over time the house will fall into disrepair and I will have to work until I die because my wife will receive no pension.  I could cope with that if we had enough time to relax and enjoy each other's company but because of her illness, I actually just spend my days getting up, caring for her, working and cleaning/fixing the house before collapsing again. I feel these are first-world problems and I shouldn't moan or complain. The tears, anger, non-existent self worth, and exhaustion however are getting too much. I need to share regularly and could do with a shoulder / ear / pair of eyes to chat or communicate with to give me the odd arm around the shoulder as well as the kick up the backside. Yeah - that's the short version!  Is anyone else in the same boat? Or even on the same sea? Or maybe you're not and you just want me to listen to you and be caring and empathetic as a distraction to my own problems?
Caregiver for elder family members
by compassionateHuman5626
Last post
 May 4th
...See more I am a new caregiver to my parents. Both parents were independent until recently. Both took a bad fall last month and now require my help around the house. My parents are very independent and very resistant to my help. Both are having a huge problem accepting that they need help. They really do not like me helping them because it is a big role reversal for them. But, I am the only family member who is able to help at this time. Does anyone out there have any advice on how I can help my parents feel more comfortable accepting my help? Thank you.
Caregiver for Mom and brother
by inventiveNectarine4087
Last post
 April 24th
...See more I just wanted to share my story. I'm 20 and my mom has been living with multiple sclerosis for 12 years. It's been deteriorating gradually and she needs me here as a full time caregiver. It's random, some days she's fine others she can't get out of bed without help. My dad is very authoritarian and has all but mandated me to be her caregiver. We have looked at assisted living options and we cannot afford them near here. The state one is hundreds of miles away. Plus she doesn't always need it yet. So I feel like I have to assume this role.  As if that wasn't enough, my brother has severe autism and needs his own type of care and supervision which my mom and I share.  I just feel alone and stressed out a lot. My dad works away from home most of week. So each week is this cycle of worrying about him coming home, making sure there's nothing he's going to go off on me about, acting perfect when he's here, and relaxing as soon as he leaves. I've been making progress on not self harming or skipping meals. But I just struggle with managing emotions.  That's all I just wanted to get it off my chest. Thank you 
Balancing Caregiving and the Holiday season
by Hope
Last post
 December 20th, 2023
...See more Hi everyone! The holiday season can be a mixed one to start with, some like, some dislike it but most find some joy, some stress in it.  For caregivers, it can also be a stressful juggling act. Balancing caregiving duties with holiday traditions can feel overwhelming, leaving you drained and burnt out Here are some tips to navigate the festive season with grace and self-care: * Prioritize meaningful moments with your loved ones and delegate or simplify tasks wherever possible. Remember, the most important gift you can give is your presence, not perfect meals. * Discuss your limitations and expectations with your family and loved ones. Enlist their help in decorating, cooking, or running errands. They want to support you, but they can't read your mind! * Explore festive virtual events or create new traditions that cater to your loved one's needs and your energy levels. * Schedule breaks for yourself, even if it's just a quick walk around the block or a solo cup of tea. Respite is essential to avoid burnout and recharge your caregiving batteries. * Don't be afraid to delegate tasks or ask for help. Whether it's hiring a grocery delivery service or getting a friend to wrap presents, accepting support frees up your time and energy for what truly matters. Remember, the holidays are for everyone, including caregivers! By prioritizing self-care, setting boundaries, and embracing the joy, you can create a festive season that's filled with love, laughter, and happy memories for you and your loved ones. How do you navigate caregiving during the holiday season?
Elderly Parent
by Lifer
Last post
 December 16th, 2023
...See more I have been supporting my mom for the past 4 years. My brother wanted her put in a home or assisted living facility. She wanted to stay in her house. I did whatever I could to help her achieve that. But now she's in need of more support. She talks about dying all of the time. She's so depressed and bored and lonely. Unfortunately my brother can't handle the stress so he doesn't support her. I love 1000 miles away and do all that I can to support her. I think it's time she move closer to me. She thinks it's time but she doesn't want to. It's *** trying to understand what she wants and then trying to support her desires. I want to travel and live my life. I don't want to be burdened by her yet I want her safe and happy. All she wants is to stay in her house but be closer to me. (Impossible!)

Family & Caregivers

Welcome to Family & Caregivers! This is a supportive space to share your thoughts and experiences.

“The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other,”  Richard Bach.

 

What are the different forum topics for Family & Caregivers?

Community Space: A place for introductions, icebreakers, games, community check-ins and discussions.

Family Relationships: A place for you to discuss all things relating to family relationships.

Support for Caregivers: Are you a caregiver? Get support and guidance here!

 How can I help?

You can help us by simply responding to threads and sharing your story (if you're comfortable). Check-in with us, join a discussion, or start one! Alternatively, you can join us as a Forum Leader. Check out this thread for more information.

 Helpful Threads

Taglist: Do you want to stay up to date with our community? Then join our tag list to be notified whenever there is a new discussion or update within the community!

 Family & Caregivers FAQ

Q: Are there any sub-community-specific guidelines that we need to adhere to?

A: You can find Sub-community-specific guidelines below, which you should follow in addition to the general forum guidelines.

 Help! I still have a question! 

If you need help, feel free to contact a community leader or post here, and someone will contact you!


Community Guidelines

Guidelines Specific to Family Support Community

1) Be polite, and non-judgmental - Everyone has a different idea of what a "family".  No two families are alike, so please be open-minded and supportive to everyone who shares here. 

2) Please use appropriate language for all ages - This community supports both teens and adults.  Curse/cuss words will be removed from posts.  

3) Some topics may be triggering - If you find a topic here triggering please step away and take a moment of self-care. We try to be inclusive and discuss a wide variety of topics so there will be something for everyone.

4) read  the 7 Cups Forum Guidelines before sending your post  

 

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