Just Ranting

I wish I'm meh about it coz it's just so dumb but.. I'm hurt!

I always put my mom first in almost every thoughts and decisions, especially after my dad passed away a year ago. I've postponed/cancelled plans (with others especially when shes sick), suppressed my emotions/grief, and plans things for her (things she enjoys doing but I don't) just to put her needs and feelings first. But unfortunately, I just felt like she don't appreciate any of my efforts.

This week, she caught a bug and is unwell. So, ensure that she have water, her favourite tea and, her comfort food near her bed at all time. Remind her to eat her medications, etc. But I just feel she don't appreciate any of it. No "thank you" or anything. Especially today, I've made breakfast despite having a sprained ankle. She just said, "I'll just eat some biscuits, maybe later".. It was on the dining table till late afternoon, untouched. So, I ate it. When my brother made her eggs with toast a while ago, she ate it.

It's not the first time. I've always take care of her when she's sick, and ensure she's not lonely, etc. but.. (shrug) yea. I was there by her side when she was grieving (dad's passing), none of other siblings was there but it seems like she appreciate them more than me. I know I shouldn't expect anything when I do something for someone.. but it hurts. It hurts when you do so much but not being appreciated. Sigh.. I don't know.. maybe I'm just too emotional for nothing..