Am I being selfish / unreasonable?
Sorry this is going to be long. 😖 Bit of background, I’m 26 still living at home with my mom and step dad. I have contributed financially to the house since I got my first job at 16yrs. 8 years ago we moved into the house we live in today. It’s a rented, 4 bed, 3 bathroom house. It’s pretty large and when we first moved in we needed the space because there was my mom and step dad, my brother and I and my nan all living here. But since then my brothers moved out and my Nans passed away. However, my parents don’t want to move out of the house despite me saying that we should for the past 5 years.
Anyway, the house costs £1200 per month in rent (excluding all the bills). For the last 3 years I’ve paid £700 a month in rent to my parents, before that it was £500 per month. I’ve always paid my rent, even when I was on furlough during covid and only getting 80% of my wage. I’ve never questioned or argued the amount my parents have asked for. I understand that I’ve had the privilege of living in a very nice, large house for the past 8 years. I know I’m lucky.
However, I am desperately trying to save for my own home. I don’t want to rent, I want to buy. I work hard, but have only been paid a min wage job for the last 8 years despite being in a management position (that’s a whole other can of worms). I finally left that job last Aug to set up my own business. The business didn’t really make any money for the first few months - it was to be expected whilst it established and I grew my customer base. But I still paid my rent every month. Now the business is doing better, but it’s only been open 6 months so it’s still small and I can’t be pulling a massive wage from it, so I’m still effectively on min wage for now.
The house rent has just been increased by 30%, which my parents are contesting but we’re going to have to pay more regardless because they don’t want to move. I know my parents are going to ask me to up what I pay them.
And this is my frustration:
All my friends who are also 26, living at home, are able to save for their own home because they pay their parents £200 - £250 per month. I’ve searched online and google reckons the average amount a 26 year old pays their parents to live at home is £200 - £300. I’ve been paying double if not more than that for 6 years at this point. I also have to cover my car tax, insurance, phone bill, pets care and vets bill, whilst only having a min wage job. My parents know that over half my wages go to them for the house. I don’t spend money on myself or buy myself nice things yet saving money is so hard because of how much my mom and step dad ask me to contribute towards the house. But I also know that if I moved out and rented by myself I would be paying more money than I pay at home.
So I feel like I’m trapped between not being able to save at home but being able to save even less if I rented someplace by myself. And my goals to get a house deposit are getting further and further away. And I feel like I can’t vent my frustration over not being able to save because I am lucky! Because I live in a lovely house, in a lovely area and I have a job and I’m not destitute on the streets. I’ve got to stop rambling now. Am I just being a spoilt brat?