lending money to mother in law behind my boyfriends back
My boyfriends family has money issues. They can't handle money very well. They spent every money they got, because they used to have nothing. My boyfriends mother is the biggest problem, she had borrowed so much money, she can't pay back, so she always asks my boyfriend for the money, now he's in dept too. Because he doesn't expect her to get him the money back. Last time I lend his older sister money and she promised me to give it back and she did, then she told it her mom and now his mom asked me for money. I can't do that...My boyfriend is pissed that she's asking everyone for money, because she's already deep in dept, but still wants to be able to afford expensive things. I told my boyfriend about it, because it felt like the right thing to do. But I would like to hear others opinions on all that.
@indigoOrange9898
So , we could say that his mom is kind of addicted to buying materialistic things even though it has a huge impact on her reality . Well you are right in your decision but is your bf doing anything to improve his situation?
@indigoOrange9898 it seems like she's very impulsive and has urges to buy everything she can.
You do well by not giving her money, since it can only amplify her addiction.
If you let her get away with it she'll keep doing it, it sounds like there are no consequences for her actions so she isn't learning that using the people she cares about isn't okay. This sounds like a pattern of learnt behavior. Perhaps a ultimatum is the way to go? But if she doesn't accept the ultimatum you still have to go through with it. I have a coworker who has lost her house, is paying for her friend and her kids to live, paying for her speeding tickets and struggling to make ends meet because she doesn't put her foot down. She keeps threatening to kick them out but she doesn't when her friend fucks up again. She does it all on purpose now because of empty consequences. Put up some boundaries, call her out, put consequences in place, because this behavior is one of a child.
Ur situation is same like me. But I broke up with him bec when u marry him, his family becomes ur family and their problems become yours . No matter how u try to avoid it, it will still affect u. U can’t change a person’s behavior especially this kind. They always thought taking money from others is so easy and they can get away without paying back. They will do the same things in the future. I do love my ex but I would not have Better future if stayed with him so I broke up and choose myself
