"The effects of sheltering a kid too much" - by a sheltered kid
I was raised in quite a sheltered household. I can't go anywhere without permission, I would have to choose the career path set by my family because they just wanted what's best for me. They put importance on education, which it is, but it got to the point where I put my self worth on numbers on a piece of paper. You know what that did to me?
The moment I gained somewhat of a freedom, a little bit of bravery to stand up for myself, I got treated like a black sheep. I became "rebellious" in my teen years. They took it as me acting out when all I did was speak my mind and opinions about things and call out my family's wrongdoings. I've dropped out of college 3 times, why? Because the career they wanted for me was not for me. I wanted to pursue my passion but lacked the courage to make a concrete decision.
I became an emotionally stunted adult with little knowledge of actual useful life or social skills to get me through everyday life. My parents never taught me how to wash my own laundry, cook, how to talk to people, how to clean... I was a mess once I started to live on my own and often become the butt of the joke in social settings. I remember when a family visited our house and they mocked me for not offering them any drinks or snacks, gave me the side eyes and said that I don't know proper etiquette. I didn't know, my parents never tell me the most basic things like this. I had to learn everything the hard way.
So now that I am in my 20's, I decided to drop out of college and move out to start working. I'm saving up so I can start a small business on the side. I taught myself the importance of budgeting, financial literacy, how to socialize properly with people, I can even cook for myself now. My family can't understand why I won't come home. I am at peace knowing that I am able to do the things my family failed to teach me when I was young. I put my happiness and well-being first and despite the struggles of living paycheck to paycheck or eating instant ramen for 2 weeks, I am free.
Providing for your children is your responsibility, but please, I implore you to let them learn on their own. Let them know that actions have consequences, teach them to be self sufficient and responsible. That's what you're raising them for.
@kannaffordthis
Yes i would agree i see many people whom simply do not function well when moving out on their own.
congratulations on teaching your self the life skills you need .....and not doing a career family chose i think that is why so many people end up really doing badly if that career path was not in their skill set.
IMO many parents do this out of a need to control and wanting child to come to them for everything.
Those needing to learn many things simply not taught at home . .. there is also the danger of being for example learning bad habits from lets say friends / co-workers who give poor advice.
