Parent in-law troubles
So me and my in-laws we get along great really do. We also live with them atm, money is tight But, me and my father in-law are like best friends so we get into a lot of fights. He is so stubborn and hard headed sometimes. And others he can just be childish about something. Well recently we went to Walmart I went with cause why not and the whole way there he was picking on me having laughs which is fine. Fast forward a little. We get to the store and he picks out some food and asked if I would hold it I joked and said no so he kept it then I tried getting it to hold and he refused. Later about to leave the store after checking out and I asked if he needed help carrying anything then he said you said no so no. I jokingly said laughing and smiling btw, well if you weren't acting like a dick on the way here I would have helped. And keep in mind we call each other worst names. But after getting in the car with him the ride home was silent, I'm fine with that. Got home I went to bed he made food. Later I go to check on him and I try talking but get ignored like a child, I end up just going back to the room then in bed. Next morning I go to work and usually before I leave the house we have small talk, but nothing. I got to work and I managed to message him asking if we were good. He said no I'm beyond mad with you. I'm confused now as to why. He said it was from me calling him a dick in front of people and that I was pissy about it and also that someone else gave him a dirty look. So I embarrassed him I guess, but he won't say I did. What I don't get though is he embarrasses me all the time and I don't get straight mad at him, I do it once and the world's over. I guess what I'm getting at is I always am the one who apologizes when we fight and also that he could have just came and talked to me. What do I do
@MysteriousK24
Hello! That must have been a shock to you, as from your perspective that was a normal sort of conversation. I am guessing the problem for him, as you said, is that this conversation happened in public and he felt embarrassed.
Some people find it really hard to speak honestly and authentically about their feelings. I am guessing he just doesn't know how to say what he wants, or how to let this go. He might be very anxious/embarrassed/resentful etc on the inside and those feelings can get tangled up and snowball when people hold them in. As you said, it is child-like behaviour. Sometimes we get stuck in feelings that we experienced as a child and never learned how to deal with it as an adult, so we revert to how we dealt with it as a child.
I would be honest with him and reach out (since he can't), might say something like this: "I am sorry I called you a dick in public in front of people. From my perspective I was just acting how we normally do, joking around etc. I had no idea that saying that would upset you, because you say things like that to me all the time which embarrasses me also, but we have fun. I really value your friendship and so I feel sad that you are feeling hurt and I am not sure what to do".
Hello im Tracey and i understand how upset you feel when you normally get on so well
You know him best but usually a genuine apology helps good luck