Mothers & Adult Children please answer - Watching my mother being unhappy.
Hello all.
I am 19 years old and am currently, for a few months, staying at my parents house. My mom has always had a rather "pessimistic" worldview and easily can find things in her life that do not work out. 7 years ago, one doctor told her she had depression, but she laughed it off.
My mother is currently very unhappy. Her and my dad moved to this town because she wanted to take care of her own mother. Well, shortly after that, her mother died. My father soon got a job in this new town, hence, they're staying here and my mom hates it here. She keeps saying it was the worst decision to come here, but my father works here and can not leave. Most of the times she is frustrated during the day, doesn't sleep at night and whenever I say the word "help" she gets upset and tells me its not my problem. Its been like this for two years, but it gets worse with time.
I dont really know what to do here. If any mothers, or adult children could tell me their opinion on this I would greatly appreciate that. Thank you very much for reading <3
@dynamicHemlock1736 I have no advice, but I just want to say as both a mother and an adult child, my heart goes out to you. It is so hard to watch someone you love suffer, especially when that person is your mother. It sounds like you really want to help her but she's not open to that, so you just have to watch this person you love be miserable while feeling like there's nothing you can do about it.
Does she know how this affects you, by chance? I think, as a mother, I sometimes fall into the trap of thinking my pain is my own and doesn't hurt others. But I'd never want to hurt my children, so if my pain ended up causing them pain, I might be moved toward action. However, depression can be tricky, and it can make us see the world in an inaccurate light, and it can make feeling hopeful and taking action seem like one of the most difficult things in the world. We can't make people change, but sometimes if we're patient, we can be ready to support them when they are ready. Your mother is lucky to have you, and I hope you take care of yourself as you cope with all this!
Best wishes to you and your mother.
Damn kid, just the fact that you're here, seeking help for your mother shows she, at least, has a good support system in you. Seriously with depression, without that, there is no hope. I am a mom, I am also a daughter. My daughter is 22. I am 37. I'd say over the last year we have grown a little further apart and that's most likely because of my own depression. I'm overwhelmed and just plain ole sad at times. Definitely not myself. I'm sorry your mother and yourself, and your father are going through this. Don't give up. Tell her you love her everyday. Remind her of something special y'all did or shared when you were younger. Laugh with her, alot. Get her to smile. Everything will be alright, eventually. Just keep trying and get support along the way. :)
Hi there! I am a mother of a 19 year old, and twenty-six year old. Moving can be a very trying experience, but it may be that your mom is sad about how things used to be, rather than her new home. Losing her mother can be profoundly sad if they were close, and as a mother of young adults I can say that it is very sad to see young adult children go. Even if you are still living with her, there is a sadness when children are grown and they no longer need you. In addition, depending on her age she may be experiencing premenopause or menopause, which can cause moodiness, sadness, irritation, and lack of sleep. Some women can be helped with hormone therapy, and that in itself can work like an antidepressant (progesterone). I experienced a lot of the same feelings after we moved, I took care of my parents, one parent passed away, children are grown, and now premenopause. This might help from a different angle, so that she may agree to seeing a doctor.