Looking for stability.
Im a father of two really cool fun kids. 12 & 14.
The 14 year old is on the spectrum and his emotions can be very unpredictable. There mother left us about 6 years ago, was a single dad doing my best. Now in a new relationship. We really care about each other. She says she wants to be there step mom. At first I was excited. But now it's feeling very difficult. We have different views of how to raise kids. I try really hard to talk these differences out. I don't feel like I blame her or tell her she's doing thing wrong but she definitely takes it that way. She never had kids of her own so I'm sure there is a lot of insecurities for her. Anyway talking is hard for me now because I feel the need to avoid arguing. I have depression and anxiety so sometimes I don't have the energy. I know there isn't a magic wand I can wave these things take work and time. But now it hasn't given me time for myself. I've been neglecting my needs. I've brought this up to her and I don't feel any support I don't feel understood. We're even in therapy... ( Made sense to start early to both of us after are failed previous relationships). We're always talking about how to have healthy conversation. But outside of therapy it feels like these things don't matter to her. I know that's just my perspective. ( Story I tell myself). But I really need a good productive healthy conversation about me. Not feeling confident that's possible in this relationship. Feeling stuck again.
@RomArt
Parenting alone is difficult, never mind bringing a new person into the mix. Everyone is going to have different ways they want to parent but at the end of the day, they are your children so what you say should be primary considering you've raised them thus far and know them the best. I'm sorry you are not feeling heard by your partner and have withdrawn within yourself as a result. Make sure to practice self care. I hope you are mentioning all of this in therapy. I hope you guys and the therapist can come to a solution that works. Best of luck!
You are a good father for tryin your best to make sure your kids stay happy
depression is a state of mind.
I have been depressed for awhile now since my ex boyfriend drowned in his sleep, I discovered that life will always remain what you want it to be so my decisions are to get back on my fit and make life worth living.
my suggesting is this do things that makes you happy and you will find peace in your heart
I'm sorry to bother you carefulGrapes590. I'm just curious what you mean by he drowned in his sleep,, did he fall asleep in the bathtub?
I don't mean to pry into your business if that's what it seems I am doing, I'm just curious because that statement didn't make sense to me, if you don't care speak about it I accept that and understand 🙂 prayers for you
What's the rush with this whole step-mom business? Maybe it would help to take a step back and just date. Maybe that would take some of the pressure off. You seem like a caring father who is just trying to do what's best for everyone. It's fine to think about what you want for yourself sometimes, too. You can't please everyone all the time, and that's okay. I'd tell ya to hang in there, but it honestly already seems like you got this.