I really dread the thought living with my Mother-in-law
This might sound rude or like a typical daughter-in-law drama. But just a month ago, I was someone who was excited by the prospect of living with family. I wanted to give back to my parents and my husband's parents the comforts of home which they gave us when we were little. I wanted mu home to be a place they could see coming and chilling in their old age.
However, a few days back, my MIL came to stay with us and it was the total opposite of what I imagined. She was interfering in everything, telling me how to make my home better, finding ways to tell me how she would better managed things, not giving me a moment to sit alone and work (I am a PhD student), being too judgemental over every move I made, not giving me ans husband space, and sadly referring to my home and car as my husband's only. For the first time I felt I had no ownership over my own life which I have built on my own.
When she left, I felt relieved that I can breath now. My husband in those two weeks helped me as much as he could to avoid tense situations as he saw most of the things I felt too. But the moment my MIL has left, it seems like he just wants to forget the bad parts and focus on how his mother had a good time. And that's fine. But my experience was real too and I am not ready to forget because if it's repeated again, I don't think I will be able to live in the same house again. It's a huge blow to your self-esteem.
I don't know what to do when she comes back next year.
@courageousThinker2777
Someone either you or your husband might want to talk to her before next visit as a reminder she is a guest and there are ways you do YOUR household that may be different then she would do it.
Many of these items can be avoided if we are clear in communication of items and not always making excuses or conveniently forgetting the behavior.
i understand it can be difficult for both parties ... the host not wanting unsolicited advice/ suggestions or judgement.
The guest maybe a suggestion was meant to be helpful but came across critical. Some people can be reached by relating a story explaining about unwanted advice and ask if they have ever experienced it..... it is the best way to remind someone when they go to speak that perhaps they should not.
