I have nightmares again
At the end of 2020 and beginning of 2021, I had trouble sleeping and plaque by nightmares. I did not really understand why I had to had nightmares almost everyday. I would dream mostly about getting left behind by family members...and today and yesterday I had nightmares again and ended up crying. I dreamt about going to a school event with some of my family members, my big sister, my younger sister, my close friend and one of my aunt. I kind of vaguely remembered the dreams but bits and pieces of the dreams. In the dream, my big sister looked at me with contempt and hatred, and somehow that made me broken hearted and real sad. I ended up kneeling in front of her and I think my aunt tried to intervene, and she hold my big sister...but the dream stop there and I woke up crying.
I realised growing up, I am not close to her. She has this built up wall and she always seemed to hate me for reasons I don't know (from childhood through teens). I knew one of the reason just recently...which is jealousy towards me (because I am close with our father), because she told me herself. I always wanted to be close to her but she only told me that I am grown up and need not attention anymore. Why deep talks or being close to each other between grown ups considered wanting attention? I had this deep resentment of getting rejected by her as her younger sister.
I pray God restored my relationship with her.
@selfdisciplinedPal2380
Hello there, I am sorry that you are having nightmares. Some of them happen just randomly, but when they repeat and reapeat ant the theme is allways the same, they may be a representation of our problems and fears. A person who is bullied may have nightmares involving getting hurt someway or being defenseless. A person who is very stressed may have nigthmares about stressfull situations they cant control. A person with family issues or fears may have nightmares involving those.
The nightmare also lets you try ways to deal with that feeling/problem. For example, a person who has fear of being hit by a bully may have a nigthmare where a monster wants to attack them. Will they run? Hide? Figth back? Will they look for help? They can test and try different things in a safe way.
In your nigthmare you kneeled and your aunt tried to help. Did that work? Should you try another way the next time? Why did your mind put your aunt there? May she know something about the matter?
I hope your prays get response and you find your way. Hugs =)
@selfdisciplinedPal2380
I understand how it feels when got in clashes with siblings, especially if the only sibling you have! It is painful but we have options, first of all we need to have friends or a place where we can talk our emotions and get supported, then we try to address the problem with the concerned person before we decide to go on with our life or focus on solving the issue. If your sister is open to talk and to receive help from you to overcome the jealousy and that she can also be close to dad as well, or encourage your dad to have her considered in the activites or talks. I know you are the younger but you are the one who sought help, so you had some responsiblity sense that I admire! Take care of yourself and be happy and fine, don't be tough on yourself because of other people opinions.
Lots of love