Article: How to Talk To Relatives That Don't 'Get' Your Mental Health Needs

"Therapy may be a normal part of life for millennials, but it’s still somewhat of a taboo subject for older generations” says Ray Sadoun, a London-based mental health and addiction recovery specialist. “Parents may believe going to therapy is a sign that you aren’t strong enough to handle problems on your own, as they may have been taught to repress their emotions and ‘soldier on’.”

Seeing mental illness as highly stigmatized is another part of it, says Dr. Gail Saltz MD, Clinical Associate Professor of Psychiatry The New York Presbyterian Hospital and host of the “How Can I Help?” podcast from iHeartRadio.“Parents of Millennials think their child should be able to just ‘right themselves’ and think therapy is either not needed or a sign of weakness. They may also see their child going to therapy, their child as a narcissistic extension of themselves, as embarrassing.”

Understand the relationship you have with your parents

You know your parents best. According to Dr. Saltz, sharing your therapy experience really depends on the relationship between you and your parents as well as your parents’ view of mental health and therapy.

“Plenty of parents would be happy and relieved to have their child get help that helps them to feel and function better in their lives. In this case a child may be happy to share and get support,” she says. “But if it’s predictable that a parent will not be supportive then really it’s probably best to have this be a choice the child does not discuss with the parent. Adult children do not have to share all aspects of their life with their parents. Therapy can be a private choice and matter.”

Decide what you want to tell them

So what if your parents aren’t happy with you seeking therapy? “It’s important to communicate to your parents that you have already decided to go to therapy and their criticism won’t change that,” says Sadoun. “Set boundaries based on your level of comfort with the subject.

Remember your autonomy

Having a parent shame you for getting treatment is an unhealthy dynamic. Dr. Saltz says you should separate your parents’ opinion from what you know you need to do for yourself. “It’s important to be able to say, ‘my parents have their own unhealthy reasons for viewing therapy for me so negatively, and I shouldn’t let this unhealthy dynamic prevent me from getting the care I need.’” If your parents continue to dismiss your mental health needs, then it’s time to disengage from the conversation and implement a boundary."

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✨Takeaway: Many older generations find it challenging to discuss mental health needs, including seeking therapy. Those who want to talk about their mental health with their parents may not feel supported enough to do so. Boundaries around mental health are essential, and communication with parents should be based on one's level of comfort.

✨Reflection: Have you ever had trouble discussing your mental health with any of your parents/relatives?

#Family #Stress #MentalHealth #Relatives #Boundaries

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