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The Importance of Family
by delightfulUnicorn38
Last post
 November 12th
...See more               Everyone grown up in a family knows in their deep heart what can offer to him, lucky people have happy stable family, even an unhappy family was important too for those reasons  offering unconditional love for being a member of a family you don't need to prove anything, gives you strength and support to face difficulties, providing companionship and a sense of belonging, helps you build self-esteem; gives you a sense of security and stability, and Family teaches you moral values far away from home, the first thing you will miss is your family .                                     
Update on Family Conflict
by wandamx26
Last post
 November 10th
...See more So I am having dinner with my dad and his cousins again a week after we had my grandma's funeral. However, my mom and brother want me to do something secret. You see my dad is going to divorce my mom and he is no longer on speaking terms with her and my brother. So my brother is slipping a note to one of his cousins to tell her what is going on and I have to be the one to deliver it. I am having so much anxiety because I am worried she is going to tell the rest of the family and my dad will unalive me for just being the messenger. I don't think he wants the rest of the family to know about the divorce until it is finalized. But I can't be choosing sides when it comes to this. 
Feeling low
by yeshu
Last post
 November 10th
...See more Never got to experience care and love in the family, rather treated as a robot or some other machine who does things that they want to. With a *** up family where one doesn't trust each other but pays heed to other people's negative opinions about the other person. Thought let's try get a life partner whom I could share my thoughts. But I was bought up like in a cage that it is not possible to sociallise easily, and guess what even no one even shows me any intrest in dating apps also.
October Activity Calendar - Enjoy the Fun!
by Havingfuninthesnow
Last post
 November 7th
...See more I thought this would be fun to do. So sharing it with all of you. We are all big kids at hart and those that have kids or older adults can do these also. Tag your friends and enjoy in the fun!
Considering cutting off untreated BPD mother
by Anxiouskitten23
Last post
 October 26th
...See more My mother has untreated BPD (for many years but I’ve only been able to work it out after I went into therapy 4 years ago). She has frequent episodes where she has an outburst either in person or over text, blaming me and my sibling for all of her problems, she says the most hurtful and insensitive things, and then when she’s done, she’ll pretend as if nothing happened the next day and expect us to carry on as usual…She has refused therapy or medication and thinks therapists are scam artists. She sees herself as the victim and blames everybody else for her problems…  When I was living with her I had no option but to ride this emotionally unstable wave with her and it’s had a deep impact on my mental health too to the extent that I was showing some BPD symptoms too along with ADHD and chronic anxiety…I’ve worked on this for 4 years in therapy and am able to lead a more or less “normal”life on most days.. I have a supportive partner who understands and is with me on my journey… I moved to a different country 4 years ago and started a new life there, but I’m back now for a bit to meet with my friends and family and introduce them to my baby.  Only this time I chose to live in a separate place and not with my mother. This has upset her and in her latest outburst she’s accused me of causing her heartache and sleepless nights and extreme stress…  as a mother now, I find it to be my responsibility to be a good mother to my son by managing my emotions, being emotionally stable and looking after my mental health in order to show up for my baby… but having a relationship with my mother is not letting that happen… i am considering cutting off from her as every interaction with her now is extremely draining and if I continue, I will only be spending more and more time in therapy to deal with it all…  My sibling and I don’t openly talk about my mothers condition to friends and family because we want to protect her reputation as we come from a culture that frowns upon speaking ill of your parents…But it’s becoming a big burden now… I feel terribly guilty and ashamed even by the thought of it. But something needs to change if I have to break this cycle and protect my child from this…  Any advice or personal experiences would be really appreciated, thank you so much. 
Is it okay to want space from your family?
by MysteriouslyFound1893
Last post
 October 13th
...See more Is it okay if on most days I need space from my parents? Is it okay if on most days I just need the affection and acknowledgement? It is okay if on most days I want to just be away from this place, anywhere but here?
Parents Arent There (Triggering)
by ItsPreeti
Last post
 October 13th
...See more We keep seeing Öh mother but some of us never had good memories with our mother/father. We had parents but not in actual-so we dont miss them when gone . Share your note what you would like to say to your parent/parents. Whether its stressed out or caring doesnt matter-share it . A note to a parent which you felt must have been understood . And incase you loved them-share that note too. 
Estranged from parents
by convivialCurrent1937
Last post
 October 12th
...See more Two years ago I decided to cut contact with my parents. I don't want to go into full detail why I made that decision as there are many reasons which would take a very long time to type out. A shortened version is my mum kicked me out of the house because i went out and wouldnt tell her where (I was 28) and then when I moved out she proceeded to make false allegations about me to other family members and then told lies about trying to unalive herself. Unfortunately this isn't bad mental health, just years of awful behaviour finally coming to a point that I could no longer accept. Although he has calmed down a lot as he has gotten older my dad used to be a very violent and angry man. Never violent to me, but towards my mum - who would tell me he do the same things to me when I was older 😳 Most of the time I'm happy with my decision. I accept that my parents will never change their behaviours and that they don't see anything wrong in the things they've done and that contact with them will only cause me more stress and pain. However, they're getting older now (I think 65 and 70), so they don't have all the time in the world left. I can't help but wonder if I'll regret my decision after they're gone and it's too late. And then I look around and see other parents treating their children with kindness and I just wonder what's so wrong with my parents that they don't even care to speak to their kids. I know i cut contact, but my parents dont speak to my brother and come up with lies like not having his phone number (i gave it to them and when my brother called my dads phone my brothers name came up 🤨) My mum says he talks to much so she doesn't want to speak to him. Yes, he can be a lot, but that's her son! I just don't understand why any parent would act this way. But I have to just accept it. I can't change them. I just hate that I know the way they are has shaped me as a person. The only person I can really talk to about my parents is my brother because he's the only person who understands how they act and what they've done. I dont know, I just think people can't comprehend that anyone could just not care about their kids. Like, we were watching a documentary about a murderer a few weeks ago and his mum was calling him and visiting him in prison and my brother said 'that guy murdered someone, and his mum treats him better than our mum treats me.'  sorry for the lack of structure in this post, i just needed to have a vent!
Help me with my wife!
by betrue21self
Last post
 October 12th
...See more I spent the last 2 1/2 years on a work project, 10+ hours a day, 6+ days a week, with no days off but Sundays. I am the sole provider for our entire livelihood, and I put my work first & foremost, above all else, especially all my wife's needs. The individual I worked for was a total narcissist, and a complete sociopath (the very definitions), and I went from the most positive and cheerful person, to struggling just to heal every day. I was very little fun to be around, no use to her before work because I was getting ready, no use to her after work because I was physically and mentally and emotionally exhausted from his brutality, and my day off was me trying to recover and rejuvenate first, and quality time with her second. She became so unhappy. She felt completely alone. She was managing all the household, cleaning, and chores alone. None of her needs were being met, not physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually. When she told me she can't do it anymore, I woke up. I opened my eyes to see what I had done, who I had become, and how I was treating her (or rather wasn't). I immediately quit my job, and focusing entirely on her (with the exception of trying to find more work). I am putting her first & foremost again, and now I am committed to rebuilding, but she has been sooo unhappy for sooo long. She has huge resentment in her heart, she is overly critical of everything I say and do, she is uber-sensitive to the slightest bit of adversity, she is extremely defensive about everything, she is confrontational, skeptical, cynical, pessimistic, and negative (and can you blame her), and she has given up on trying to tell me what she needs because she has been doing so for the past 2 1/2 years, and it went in one ear and out the other, so there is very little sharing of her feeling, emotions, wants or desires now. She reacts to everything with sarcastic remarks and curt comments, which is how I know she's still harboring all the aforementioned issues. I NEED HELP! I need real-world, practical advice on specific steps I can take to bring back her joy in our relationship, her trust in me, her calm and her peace of mind in general, her optimism and positivity. How do I overcome her resentment? How do I gain her trust again? How can I satisfy her needs if I'm not sure what to do? How can I not make her feel so defensive? How can I stop her constant criticism? How can I make her happy again? (...side note) We have been married for 16 years. Our love is so much stronger than this, we both agree. We are still completely in love with each other. She is not thinking about leaving me, or wanting a divorce in any way, shape, or form. She just misses me and wants her husband, partner, and lover back. We have a beautiful life together, and a beautiful home. She has an amazing side business that fulfills her completely. She's an artist, a medium, a reiki master, and a spiritual healer. Thank god for that because it is what has kept her occupied while I had my priorities all wrong! 
Past sibling bullying
by charliedelitescit
Last post
 October 12th
...See more When I was a kid through to mid teens my younger brother bullied me pretty viciously, I wasn't abused or ever seriously injured but it was very much he enjoyed causing me pain (physical and psychological/emotional) and whilst I mostly fought back I was rarely the instigator or enjoyed hurting him back. I just wanted to be left alone and in peace. I was always told it was just sibling rivalry and that I should ignore him and he'd leave me alone (course he didn't). I had an otherwise easy childhood and my parents were caring and attentive but I feel so let down by them never properly stopping my brother? What should it even matter that they saw it as 'normal sibling rivalry'? I was in a lot of distress and they didn't make a real effort to stop it. Part of me really wants to confront them about the sibling bullying, mostly because when I think about it now (19) I end up sobbing so clearly it's still affecting me but I'm terrified I'll be told I'm being melodramatic or something else dismissive which will be more damaging. The one serious conversation I remember addressing the conflict when I was a kid, my mum told me that her and my dad had discussed me going on a "self-confidence" course! Did anyone else have something like this in their childhood? Has anyone tried to address this or something similar with their parents as an adult? (I know people have had far worse experiences with siblings and I've not got a mental illness from it but it still really hurt)
self care for family
by delightfulUnicorn38
Last post
 October 7th
...See more Self-care is the practice of taking care of physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual aspects of your life to promote health and wellness. According to the World Health Organization (WHO), self-care is being able to promote health, prevent disease, maintain health, and cope with illness and disability with or without the support of a healthcare provider The Importance of Self-Care for Families are Modeling Healthy habits, Building Resilience; Strengthening Bonds, Enhancing Individual Well-Being Here are some activities to share with your kids, family members 
Dealing with Parents' Divorce
by wandamx26
Last post
 October 3rd
...See more For those that experienced their parents getting divorced, what was your initial reaction when you first heard about it? How did you deal with that challenge and did both of your parents still stay "good friends" after divorce was finalized? I am just asking since I am going through the same with my parents at the moment. 

Family & Caregivers

Welcome to Family & Caregivers! This is a supportive space to share your thoughts and experiences.

“The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other,”  Richard Bach.

 

What are the different forum topics for Family & Caregivers?

Community Space: A place for introductions, icebreakers, games, community check-ins and discussions.

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You can help us by simply responding to threads and sharing your story (if you're comfortable). Check-in with us, join a discussion, or start one! Alternatively, you can join us as a Forum Leader. Check out this thread for more information.

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Community Guidelines

Guidelines Specific to Family Support Community

1) Be polite, and non-judgmental - Everyone has a different idea of what a "family".  No two families are alike, so please be open-minded and supportive to everyone who shares here. 

2) Please use appropriate language for all ages - This community supports both teens and adults.  Curse/cuss words will be removed from posts.  

3) Some topics may be triggering - If you find a topic here triggering please step away and take a moment of self-care. We try to be inclusive and discuss a wide variety of topics so there will be something for everyone.

4) read  the 7 Cups Forum Guidelines before sending your post  

 

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