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Patriot profile picture
Caretaker Burn Out
by Patriot
Last post
 2 hours ago
...See more I'm just so spent.  My husband and I have been taking care of my 90 year old mother for the past 4 years.  We've not had a vacation or a weekend away for 4 years. My husband is retired and I still work, so he takes care of Mom during the day and I take over when I get home from work and on the weekends.   Prior to my mom's illness (osteoarthritis-unable to move around unassisted but can still walk) we were very close. We enjoyed each other's company and had fun together. Since she became ill, I've seen a very different side to her. She's overly dramatic with her symptoms, demanding, unreasonable and mean.  She was tested for dementia and the results were she just has age related memory issues but not dementia. It's her attitude that has gotten me so down. She used to be fun, we (my husband and I) loved taking her places, taking her on trips with us, dinners etc... But now she is a bitter, ugly old woman who finds fault with all we do for her. If I clean her bathroom, she'll point out small specks I may have missed, we buy her good quality food, she won't eat it (we've wasted so much money on food for her that she says she likes, then won't eat), complains she wants socks, when we buy her socks she finds fault and won't wear them, the same with shoes & slippers. The list goes on and on.  Both my husband and I are just mentally exhausted. We have no help (can't afford Visiting Angels and we have no family nearby). We can't go anywhere to get away from her.  The only time we get a break is when she is sleeping.   I'm tired all the time, depressed, no motivation and feel hopeless.  My husband, while being a great support, feels the same. No energy, no motivation to do anything. We both feel like we're being held hostage by an ungrateful shrew who is determined to make us feel as miserable as she is and she is succeeding.  She cannot afford to go into a nursing home and my husband is old school and feels since we're her only family (both my brothers have passed in the last 10 years and my father passed 22 years ago) we need to keep her at home as long as we can.  Her doctors are not much help. They just want to put her on antidepressants (she refuses to take them).  Aside from that, they just take her temp, do her labs and send her out the door until next year.  I just needed to vent.  I never anticipated this happening to a woman who was so full of life and had such a great outlook. I also never anticipated how miserable and defeated I would end up feeling at this stage in my life. I see no hope for the future. 
romasgirl profile picture
hello
by romasgirl
Last post
 2 days ago
...See more hello, i joined this group because i needed to talk about my family, my mom is verbally abusive, my brother is physically abusive and my sister too. i dont know how to deall with it all
ambitiousNectarine1515 profile picture
Bipolar spouse
by ambitiousNectarine1515
Last post
 2 days ago
...See more My husband is bipolar im trying desperately to find someone in the same position to talk to
PeggyMeghan111 profile picture
Family
by PeggyMeghan111
Last post
 2 days ago
...See more My mum and my siblings are the one supposed to care for me but whenever I ask for help they are not able to support me
niceFarm8679 profile picture
The problem of my life.
by niceFarm8679
Last post
 Thursday
...See more My family got divorced and I am two years and until now I can't forgive the person who was the reason for their marriage. But I don't have more words to say, but those who have gone through the same experience, I wish they would tell me what to do, because I don't know how to concentrate on any need of thinking, and I became very sensitive and cry easily from accumulations.
drzombienoodles profile picture
Is this normal?
by drzombienoodles
Last post
 Tuesday
...See more I want to know if I’m being too sensitive and this is normal in families or if there serious underlying emotional pain with my parents. my mother told me that because she is my mom and gave birth to me, I cannot be upset with her about anything ever and I should just bite my tongue all the time. Is that normal? my mother has also insulted me (called me a *** for wearing a cleavage showing tank top, etc) and then said it doesn’t count as an insult because she was just messing around. Is that normal? my father said I would be an idiot if I quit the job I have that I hate because it’s a good job and I should keep it then transfer to different locations. That’s his dad advice. Is that normal? my mother also says I’m too sensitive, argumentative, and need to get over everything. She’s never apologized to me ever in her life. Is that normal? keep in mind, I’m an adult with my own income living by myself. Are these normal things in family and am I just being sensitive when they are messing around?
creamferret profile picture
What do I do?
by creamferret
Last post
 December 18th
...See more I'm not sure if I posted another one earlier, if didn't pop up but I just wanted to let everything that has been weighing on my mind now. My parents used violence to discipline me as a child, as young as when I was just in daycare, I still vividly remember my dad hitting me when I was around 4, it was traumatizing to recap on. Well, earlier, my mom kicked my stomach (which hurts since like yesterday cause of some issues with digestion??) and made me choke on a wet towel she uses for wiping out counters and table, cause I asked her if we were gonna do the project (which involves parents) since I need to pass it. Well, I don't know why but she found it offensive and started scolding me, saying on how they put me in a prestigious school on a scholarship and yet in still acting like a brat. She went on and hit me a few times, doing it again if I tried screaming for help. She calmed down for a while and asked me fro an apology, which I said "why would I apologize first when you're the one who hit me?" And she said "who taught you that? Your teachers?" And she started to subtly insult them which I don't support for obvious reasons. I can't tell it to my relatives either because for all I know, they won't believe me, especially my uncle. He saw what my parents would do to me and he wouldn't even stand up to protect me, not to mention his gluttony made him eat most of the foods I stock up when things turn for the worst (which is when my parents scold me and starve me) She's now trying to starve me of some sorts and did not try to take on an apology. I'm sorry if my rant is too long and if it is missing some details, which I don't really remember anything else considering I'm bawling my eyes out rn. I'll try to report this to my school the next time I have a chance to do so.
SweetSugarBoost profile picture
Having an issues
by SweetSugarBoost
Last post
 December 18th
...See more My sister is 12. When things don't go her way, she gets petty and upset. Today, she took one of my figurines and did something with it. I can't find it and it's one that doesn't fall (and if it does it's usually on my bed). I know the youngest didn't take it because he tells us that he did it once we notice. She on the other hand will lie until it's about forgotten and will slip up on it. I did confront her and told her that I do not like that. That it's not nice not right for her to do that just because she's mad and didn't get her way. Bringing up the phrase "Treat people how you want to be treated". I'm genuinely very upset and disappointed because I trusted them to not touch my stuff or do me dirty like that since I don't do that to them either. They know I don't mind it as long as they ask or tell me and put it back. I make sure to do the same. At the moment, I'm letting my anger settle and I'll retalk with her another time. What more can I do, especially to not escalate the situation?
delightfulUnicorn38 profile picture
The Importance of Family
by delightfulUnicorn38
Last post
 December 17th
...See more               Everyone grown up in a family knows in their deep heart what can offer to him, lucky people have happy stable family, even an unhappy family was important too for those reasons  offering unconditional love for being a member of a family you don't need to prove anything, gives you strength and support to face difficulties, providing companionship and a sense of belonging, helps you build self-esteem; gives you a sense of security and stability, and Family teaches you moral values far away from home, the first thing you will miss is your family .                                     
delightfulUnicorn38 profile picture
family and holidays
by delightfulUnicorn38
Last post
 December 17th
...See more In holidays most families spend time together by exchanging visits every time as a regular tradition trying to make some good memories, enjoy the sense of belonging, pass cultural values, keep all members connected Holidays have the same character but every family tries to celebrate in their own way, which gives everyone a special soul.  Here are some good ideas and activities for you and your family to share during the holidays _ starting from collecting information about the origin of those special days; the first stories, and the reason for committing every year to celebrate. _Checking the traditions of celebrating and your own beliefs and personal values, including the ceremony, dishes, and clothes, add ways to bring joy and peace to the family, and maintain the quality of the relationships. Some random fun traditions start with cleaning, decorating, playing games, visiting relatives, taking pictures, and sharing memories, you can add some or skip others as you want. 
CDanielle profile picture
Caregiving ups and downs
by CDanielle
Last post
 December 15th
...See more Hi there! I take care of my blind father with dementia and my wheelchair bound mother, all by myself. They can do a lot for themselves still, amazingly, yet needless to say Im stressed. I need my own job too, but no time. They take care of my needs for now. I have pretty severe anxiety so its not like Im one of those lucky people who are energizer bunnies with a gusto for life, though I do love my life. I am trying and it is my kitties, my fur babies, that keep me going when it gets hard. I so much wish to find others who are in or have been in, similar situations. Thank you for listening. :-)
Kiara328 profile picture
Is it me?
by Kiara328
Last post
 December 12th
...See more is it me or is my children dad weird? I asked if he could get them the weekend so I can have a little fun.. (we’re not together and I barely go out, I’m always with my children) I said I’ll make food for them so they can have something to eat or whatever.. he tells me that I need to have clothes with them and if they don’t have clothes with them, he’s not going to get them.. ( I’m a single mother, struggling to make ends meet, I don’t get child support nor do I ask him for help because when I do, he never has it or he has something to do) when I do send clothes, I never get them back and he always say he doesn’t have them

Family & Caregivers

Welcome to Family & Caregivers! This is a supportive space to share your thoughts and experiences.

“The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other,”  Richard Bach.

 

What are the different forum topics for Family & Caregivers?

Community Space: A place for introductions, icebreakers, games, community check-ins and discussions.

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You can help us by simply responding to threads and sharing your story (if you're comfortable). Check-in with us, join a discussion, or start one! Alternatively, you can join us as a Forum Leader. Check out this thread for more information.

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Community Guidelines

Guidelines Specific to Family Support Community

1) Be polite, and non-judgmental - Everyone has a different idea of what a "family".  No two families are alike, so please be open-minded and supportive to everyone who shares here. 

2) Please use appropriate language for all ages - This community supports both teens and adults.  Curse/cuss words will be removed from posts.  

3) Some topics may be triggering - If you find a topic here triggering please step away and take a moment of self-care. We try to be inclusive and discuss a wide variety of topics so there will be something for everyone.

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