Reasons for Recovery: A Letter To You

Dear Struggling Friend,

You could say that my reason for coming to treatment is a slightly complicated answer.

People want you to say that your doing it for yourself. Your doing it to free yourself, but sometimes that isnt how it works.

We tend to have a lot of different voices in our minds and unfortunately most of them dont want treatment or for you to get better.

Sometimes your ED mind tells you that you dont need treatment and youre fine. The ED mind can try to resist treatment at all costs. Sometimes your depressed mind tells you that you dont deserve treatment. That youre not worthy of it and dont care about getting better. Then there is the anxious mind, the mind that is scared of treatment, content with how youre doing avoiding the new at all costs.

When it seems like all these minds are taking control sometimes you need to find something external to motivate you, which is what I did.

For me, the reason I came into treatment wasnt for any internal factors, but external factors. It was my family and friends.

I saw how much they hurt and the pain I caused. I could see the look in their eyes every time I stood up or it was meal times. Knowing they hurt made me hurt and thats why I came here.

I guess what Im saying is that your motivation for recovery doesnt always have to be for yourself, but it can be for others and thats ok. Eventually, you might be able to do it for yourself, and Im hoping I can someday. Any motivation is something to start with, the initial push.

Take that motivation and use it. Let it fuel the fire inside you that keeps you going.

Remember, you ARE strong and you ARE loved.

Love and Soft Feels,

~Xi

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This is a letter I wrote in treatment about reasons for recovery. I hope someone can get something out of it.