Reason To Recover
What's your reason to recover?
My only reason at the moment is that I know my girlfriend won't love me anymore if I get to the point where I have to have a tube in my nose.
If your girlfriend cant be with you through the bad, shes not worthy of your love. You CAN and WILL recover because God has someone WAY better coming your way.
@Alexisnm18 I released I worded it to make her sound poorly but that's the exact opposite you see she didn't even know I had an eating disorder but she makes me so happy that I now want to get better because the worse I get the more awful I am to others especially the ones I love and I know I will force her not to love me. I totally understand how you interpreted it now that I reread it and thank you for your support none the less.
You are worthy of love, patience, and grace just the way at this very moment-- scabs and all.
I don't believe you will not find a 'reason' or 'happiness' outside of yourself. Yes. You are suffering. (I believe we are all suffering in some way.) We often don't look at the actual cause of our suffering when looking for a 'distraction' or the actual cessation of our pain. Too often we turn to things that cause us more suffering (drugs, alcohol, food...).
You do not deserve to suffer. If you feel you need assistance to get on your feet and get 'on the path', go for it; that is a strength, not a weakness.
The reality of it is, we are all ultimately responsible for our own happiness. We choose to be happy, or sad, in every single instance. We choose what makes us happy, what makes us sad, what makes us miserable. Most don't realize this, I didn't either. But, we choose to be happy or sad. It isn't forced. That may sound heartless, believe me when I say that I know it does. But it's really how it is. It's one thing to be was and mourn for a little bit. But excessively hurting yourself for no reason is another. We can choose to be happy in all the darkness, yet no one chooses to do so. It's even harder to accept the reality of choosing our own happiness. Trust me when I say, it was hard for me too.
Some other reasons to recover:
- To be able to hug people without them worrying about you
- To be able to travel and try new cuisines without thinking about the calories
- To enjoy activities without considering if you're burning calories or should be doing something else
- To focus 100% on something else!
- To be able to do all the physical things that you cannot without the energy you need
- To be able to be open and honest with the ones you love
- To not have to say no to spending time with people just because the activity involves eating
- To feel beautiful and accepted by yourself
- To be free of the thoughts that come with the eating disorder
- To have the thick and glossy hair and beautiful skin that only come with a nourished body
- To truly enjoy life
Some other reasons to recover are:
-To be able to take advantage of any opportunity that comes your way (job, internship, trip etc) and be able to enjoy it
-To be able to go hang out with friends without worrying about when and what you'll eat and if you'll have enough energy and focus to be there.
- To fully enjoy special treats, such as decorating (and eating) Christmas cookies!
- To be able tell your support team you did it :)
- To be able to talk to your support system and not leave them worrying.
- To not keep secrets from everyone around you.
- To be able to have things to tell your friends when you're catching up for the first time in months.
Good luck! As hard as things are you can do this. It's not always easy and it may take time but you can :)
@wildflower82 - LOVE these! So true!
