I don’t know what is wrong with me. (TRIGGER WARNING)
Hello, I am 17 years old and I don’t think I have an ED (i’ve never been in therapy and i am not diagnosed) BUT my body dysmorphia gets worse and worse. My biggest fear is gaining weight. I am restricting and exercising a lot and i still feel the same. Sometimes i cancel events because i know i have to eat if i go (i don’t want to look mean). I also enjoy watching people eat because it makes me feel good about myself (for example i think “she/he eats way more than me so it’s okay!”). I know this might sound mean but it’s the way my brain works. Do you have any advice for me? And btw if you are wondering, no, i’m not underweight. I used to be underweight but it was because i had health problem (it was normal to lose a lot of weight in my condition). But since i don’t have it anymore, I am not underweight anymore. I have normal weight because i’m not overweight either. Please give me some advice i feel so alone.
Hey! I understand what you are going through because I was in that situation. I used to be really mean to myself, by saying hard comments to me and even skipping meals just because I was really lazy to do exercise. I gotta admit that it was hard but not imposible, people in social media always talk about getting self love and self confidence just by thinking or saying that a lot, but it is more complicated than that, It’s starting to respect yourself, It’s being grateful by what you have and not triggering about how you don’t. It’s okay to workout in the things you wanna accomplish in your body but remember to no hurt yourself in the process.
I wasn’t diagnosed with body dismorphia but I knew I had it, sometimes I saw my body like it’s okay and other times like it was the most disgusting thing in the world. I think this condition went worse because of social media and close friends who were absolutely skinny because of their genes. I know it feels incredibly tough right now, but I want you to remember that you are not alone in this. The way you’re feeling is real, and it’s okay to not have all the answers, but just by recognizing that you’re struggling, you’re already taking a powerful first step. The road ahead may feel long and confusing, but every moment of self-compassion you choose to give yourself is progress.
You don’t have to be perfect, and you don’t have to have everything figured out right away. Healing is messy and takes time, but you’re strong enough to start changing the way you see yourself, little by little. It’s okay to seek support, whether through friends, family, or a professional. You deserve to feel peace with yourself, and no matter what, you’re worthy of love, support, and care—especially from yourself.